h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dreamt of L last night, and she was my friend, and I was happy. That was nice. Genethetw en aletheiai, Kyrie.

Bit tired now cos I didn't sleep all that well though.

Ever so nice to be home.

Oh bolleaux, I'm in Premod again, in ML. I think maybe I should find a forum less ... policed. Perhaps a South African one.

Ag, dis nie die moeite werd nie.

Ek het al genoeg.

Much as it pains me I think I'll quietly take my leave of Peet's place. I can't deal with the dumb dumbth of those who police it. I write of love, and am accused of being "wholly inappropriate" - no, sir, can't take that. I'll look out for other forums I think which might appreciate the Wilfic sense of sensibility less banausically.

Yes I am back on the saucissons. I'm so BLOODY BORED. And I'm sick and tired of pussy footing around spoiled little 20 somethings with an over-inflated opinion of themselves. "I WILL take legal action" - thanks for the warning, dol, that means you'd divorce me. Gave yourself away there.

It's only 15 years until I'm 60! And that's REALLY past it. Bluedy norah. Fifteen years is no time. And in all my 45 years I have found no-one who wants to give themselves to me. No-one. How horribly depressing. Maybe it's because of my rule that people must take me as I am, remembering the fairy tale of the princess who had to kiss the frog before it turned into a handsome prince. These days they are so bloody vainglorious. Well I suppose they're not missing much. Flow, river, flow. Fill the irrigation-lines with water to drenk the innocent plants.

Unable to find a sane chatroom I shall post my thoughts here.

I promised Collard a piece of work on renewing the mind, but I don't think he has the humility to read anything I might write. Ego, you see, and testosterone. Boasting about marrying his childhood sweetheart and not realising it did for his spiritual maturity totaliter. Rigby said you stop growing when you get hitched. Well I'd rather sacrifice this little life (and as I say it's not long left now) for the best possible eternity. If God wants my book to flop, so be it. I simply don't care any more. Had enough of it all. His people basically don't want to know me. I'm past caring. Let them enjoy their little lives. They enjoy their lives, and they DARE lecture me about sacrifice. Screw that.

And Collard boasting of his folly. He doesn't have a clue. He wouldn't last five minutes of the treatment I get from God's people. A lifetime of being ignored, mocked, backs turned, shaken heads, accusations. Without anything consciously done wrong. Real folly is constant humiliations, not just being humbled, but being humiliated by the mockery of the unknowing. Constantly being taken advantage of by those who despise you. I've even had Ntshotshisa on at me for money again.

Barry was kind, Francois was very kind, Helga was a fair-weather friend. But even Barry ignored me when I gave him my book to review. Their problem is they let kiddies on the air, who have no business addressing God's people.

But Father's will be done. If he wants me teaching the good people of Cape Town, he will make it happen. I have to sort myself out first of course, which I am trying to do, but it's so hard.

Of course a little help would be nice, but the very people who God has provided to help me, turn their backs on me, because I don't measure up to their standards of holiness. Sickening isn't it. I need someone to sit with in the evening but does anyone make the effort? No, I am left to struggle on alone. I believe Father is allowing them to fill up the measure of this behaviour. Just so when he finally turns and tells them what he thinks, they will have done all they could to reject and ignore the Father's son.

Because if anyone ever needed help, I do. And these people, so bloody righteous, it's amazing how righteous people can be sometimes.

You'd think Helga would have learnt her lesson, not to be so bloody righteous.

ONLY CHRIST IS RIGHTEOUS, OK?

We are NOT righteous, we are sinners saved by grace through faith.

But hey. Anyway. God is Lord and he will see me right.

We are the righteousness of God in Christ - IN CHRIST. Not in ourselves. And that's the thing. These people appear to be in deep heresy, simply by the way they behave. You know, I am connected with them, Helga saw to that, and I'm struggling so hard at the moment, but no-one will lift a finger to help. I'm speechless.