h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been up all night. Was listening to The Savage Nation but I lost patience with the adverts. The Blood of Jesus has power to enforce the Victory of Jesus upon all his enemies.

Going to visit B. this afternoon. I hope he doesn't decide he wants to "prophesy" at me.

Had an excellent visit with Brian. I was feeling quite down before I went, but seeing him has cheered me up no end. Excellent! Good old Brian. I've known him now since about 1995 I think. He is one of the original Jesus people of the 60s and 70s. Has a lovely wife Sandra. His son Aidan, whom I knew as a Capetonian teen, is now living in Linlithgow and has three children. The woman God wants me to marry tell me to eff off. I really really don't have any luck at all with the oppositely plumbed. Hey, and, as they say, ho.

She won't have me because I'm a cut-off fool and she is trying to pray me better; but that won't work, because I'm like the way I am because that's the way God wants me, for reasons of his own. She considers herself an "old soul" but she isn't, although she does have a delightful sense of humour and is altogether lovely. But she isn't "old" enough to understand me. I think it's doomed, although God told me otherwise, and other people have hinted otherwise. I'm sick and tired of these women, they seem to consider their little female brains higher than God. And get bitter and twisted when they go too far and God disciplines them (hello Olga).

Olga's having a taste of what life's been like for me for 40 years and she doesn't like it. Well I told her again and again not to mess with me. But she had to didn't she. So now she's learning the hard way. Don't get bitter. Or rather, get bitter. Get resentful and let it all hang out. Let it all out. Let the poison out. It's been there since you were 13. Never addressed, because of the ridiculous poverty of your tradition. You didn't want to let God teach you through me, but he's doing it anyway - the nice way, you didn't want, so he's doing it the nasty way. How long it takes is entirely up to you. You'll have to stop pretending. This is to oblige you to get real. To burn away the falsehood and pretence and bitterness and resentfulness. Burn baby burn. Burn, learn and turn.

Last night and this morning I was in despair about what I was doing here in Cape Town. I thought, Why am I here? And I thought of moving to Jo'burg, where people are friendly.

Tonight God has opened my eyes and shown me what I am here for. It is, obviously, in the purposes of God that he sent me here. And he has shown me what I'm here for. I've got another big prophecy, like the prophecy I had for His People back in 96. I have written it starting off as a message to Olga, but it has turned into a general message, which I guess has to go to Barry. I wonder whether he will receive it. I get the Spirit's witness when I read it so perhaps he will too. I had better get it down on paper and pray over it and add to it if necessary and go and deliver it to Muizenberg, or better, post it to Barry at his House of Heretics.

I shall have to say, Receive or reject it, but be very careful you are not rejecting the words of the one God has sent.

Some of them are very very sweet. One or two of the youngsters, I like. I think it's -- no, I don't know his name. He is respectful to me. But many of them judge me by sight. It makes listening to them very painful. Some are ultra-sweet and faithful, on their way to becoming sons. Some are just eternal babes, vision monkeys. I had better start getting all this into a document to write to Bazza.

It's a pity she's messing me around because I need someone to take to the US on a visit for the 25th October, and I have no-one to go with, and would rather take L than anyone else. Don't want to take someone who is unkind and takes advantage and basically doesn't know how to treat me. You have to be very careful with me and so on. God is teaching L how to deal with me what with my difficult mind and so on. Anyway I need someone to take to the UK and the US and L would be ideal and of course she won't come because she won't speak to me.

Brian couldn't resist having a go - several goes - at me this afternoon. How I must find sons of God to hang out with! So important that i find people in whose company I can relax and exchange gifts, rather than nothings.

I'm in a difficult position because God has sent me to Personage X, with a gift. But Personage X won't open up for me to give them the gift. They really need this gift too, although they don't realise it. God won't let me forsake them, he won't let me just forget about them and abandon them and reject them. No, that's out of the question. God has sent me to help them and so I have to, it's my raison d'etre, it's why I draw breath.

The reason they won't let me - well they are many. I know many of them, and there are probably many more. These reasons are part of what I want to help them become free from. Perhaps more prayer is needed. They are a burden in my heart and have been for years. So I shall have to pray like I've never prayed before, to help this person.

So burden me, Father, Jesus, let me into this work of yours, Spirit, pray in me, use me, here's my heart and soul and mind and body, use me to pray this person through into a state whereby they will open the door to me and let me in. Amen.