h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lynwen, I need you.

I'm sitting feeling relatively OK having medicated myself to overcome the withdrawals which I'm having. This is the last time I shall have such withdrawals. But O Lord, God of my youth, God of my life, will you not hear the cry of my heart?

My hall and drawing room smell of paraffin after I stupidly tried filling my heater in the Afternoon Room and soaked the carpet in the stuff. Then I tried doing it in the hall bog. I am stupid sometimes.

Oh well.

Hopefully in a month or so the smell will disappear.

Truly, we have an enemy. I appear to be obliged to stand alone against him. Always have.

If Helga is so spiritual why didn't she recognise the provenance of that email? It was the worm. But she thought it was me. I wrote to explain but it was as if she either couldn't or wouldn't understand my explanation. Now she's making cracks about eustachian and fallopian tubes and saying it's about my future.

See the imbalance? She hasn't got an incarnate Word.

They don't seem to be able to slow down. They only have one setting. Hardly all things to all men, is it.

Hardly very ecumenical, for that matter.

Well God's taught her a harsh lesson, whether she's teachable enough to learn it, is another matter. Perhaps she's gone to her Colour Conference friends and accounted for it all in her flesh.

I hope not, for her sake. God seems to be getting heavy on her case. I did warn her time and time again, Get out of my way and get into God's way.

Did she listen? No, because it wasn't Pastor John saying it. Just like Francesca, who never listened to me because I wasn't Abbot Adrian or whoever, even though what I had to say was just the same as what the good Abbot said.

These Christians, hey? Not exactly getting much of a welcome from them, am I?

And Sipho poisoned Khotso against me.

I never get to see Thami.

It's always been like this. Rupert doesn't want to know, either.

So I stand alone.

Andrew refuses to take me along to try to sell Words. I am insisting on going along. It is, after all, my ducking book.

God says he'll make it all up to me.

Helga I am not your enemy.

I only want to help you.

If you had taken me seriously as an apostle of God from the start, none of this would need to have happened.

I hear Lynwen is scared of me.

Meanwhile I must suffer on alone, year after year, outside the camp, with Jesus.

I need help just as much as any other man.

Be faithful to God, and obey him. It's the only way.