h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now then. I was standing in Maccy D queue and saw THE most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life, in the queue at Maccy D. She looked straight into my eyes. I was dazzled, it was the perfect moment. We looked again and I was dazzled again. I haven't had such an experience since I was a young lad. I was dazzled by her beauty. Totally dazzled by her beauty. Never seen anything like it. Never seen anyone like it. Completely overwhelmed by her beauty. We looked at each other a couple of times and I was completely overcome by her beauty. Unbelievable. So unbelievable. I couldn't cope. I was undone.

Now they're all chemists... the bloke who was watching Walk and Jesse was learning the whole procedure. And now the bloke who has been watching him for weeks, he knows every step in his cook? The latino bloke doesn't know the chemistry of the cook. Short order cook. How would he guard against humidity in the summer? What happens if he has a bad batch of precursor? Reducing to methamphetamine. The chemistry of the cook is fascinating. Gus has just killed the latino who learnt the procedure of how to coook methamphetamine. Jesse is such a silly little youngster but we're meant to think that. There is blood all over the laboratory floor now that Gus has killed the Latino guy who learnt the recipe for Mr White's methamphetamine. Mr White's methamphetamine is over 99% pure and that is awesome dude. Imagine a methamphetamine that is over 99% pure, dude. Just imagine it, dude. Eh?

They must all now cook. Get back to work. Yay! They are all allowed to get back to work now, thanks to Mr White and Jesse, who has a strong wiggle waggle and a special sort of end. Wiggle waggle. Oh, the wiggle waggle of Jesse and of Mr White's methamphetamine.

The infidel at the copy shop messed up the binding of half of the music books I had them do. The girl did her part OK but the infidel messed up. I am pissed off because now I've got to schlep round there again and I really don't have time to be chasing up some infidel's cockups. I'm really pissed off.

Oh well nothing I can do about it now. Next time I'm going to insist on checking everything at the shop. I usually do but the girl seemed not to want me to check today. They'll have to reprint the music and rebind it and I ain't paying.

Bad is pretty bad at the moment. I expect everyone will heave a sigh of relief when poor old Walter kicks the bucket. He's getting up everybody's nose.

Trying not to be exercised about the music cock-up. I don't much of people really. But the bloody infidel could have bloody well checked.

Testing for Peet

Well yeah annoying that. The music I mean. Gotta go round there first thing tomorrow, nine am, oh yeah. Thankfully my wrath will be subsided by then.

Yeah I fancy a bit of telly actually, I wonder how long it's going to that to get round to getting me permission and all that. Piss annoying that.

Yeah I've just listened to my Little Sonata and followed along in the score, it's a nice piece, I think it works quite well.

Lara (the pianist) has found a cellist, I think he's in Stellenbosch; Andrew the Calligrapher is charged with finding me a violinist and a violist. I need to see these musicians asap and give them their music, and then I have to see them again once they've been through it and answer any questions. I'm bad at marking my scores.

Lara's got the piano parts to the Theme and Variations, the Jewish Folksongs and the Elegy for Bob. Still to come are the Sonatina and the Little Sonata. The other piece is the Song and Dance for Solo Cello. That's two movements from my withdrawn Suite for solo cello, which people didn't rate.

Well most of the music for the concert, I've composed specially for the concert. That's cool. It's about 45 minutes' worth of music.

I've got to pay for the musicians and the venue and all that. I've also got to buy a house up in Vanrhynsdorp or somewhere, perhaps there (hopefully there) or Calvinia, for me to go to, for a change of scene, pretty regularly. I'm also considering just getting my car down to the Cape and getting some serious complaints moving about the Jo'burg people. I'm close to having had enough. I will just have to shell out extra on it. I'll get it from John.