h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Trying to get the date right this time. I am full recovered from Friday night's excesses. That was a classic hangover for me - three days. I wish Henry had such bad hangovers, it might stop him drinking so much. Yesterday his hands were shaking, and people were commenting on it. I told him I didn't think it was funny. He explained to me that this was his way of getting a "hangover" - I get sick and tired three days, he gets the shakes.

Laundry is all dry. Grieta comes this morning. Oops, she just arrived, I'm still smoking my wake-up cigaret and in my pyjamas. She's 20 minutes early.

My little epiphany about Xhosa, which I remarked on in ML and Peet's ML, bore fruit yesterday. I spoke several sentences of Xhosa... I even made a rudimentary joke in it.

"Indoda ibindifonela. Uthi unemakhadi am" - "A man phoned me. He says he has my cards". From such tiny beginnings...

I'm having a quiet day at home today after yesterday's frenetic activity.

Now playing: "Your Cheatin' Heart" (The The, "Hanky Panky")

I have my jumper on. The sheets have dried. Grieta has washed the shower curtain. Thank God for Grieta who looks after my comfort so well.

The sun is out, and there's a blue sky, but there's a chill in the air. Haven't heard from Mr Mellish the guy who is quoting me for the paving job. Want to get the paving done pronto. May phone him just now (if I can still find the number now that Greita's been here tidying!).

oh... am I running out of Rizlas? The green pack is almost finished. I have several packets of liccy papers in the drawer so I'll have to use those. Must go out to town tomorrow.

Phoned Kayleen. She is going to the UK soon. A jet-setting businesswoman indeed.

We are getting T-shirts made with a picture of Ontjie on. It is going to be a big do, this week. I am resting today, and occasionally thinking of what to say at the memorial.

Now playing: the Quintessence album that wasn't "In Blissful Company". Present track (3) sounds like a psychedelic Hindu temple. Colours. Cool.

Wow! That was amazing. The sudden transition between tracks 3 and 4. This is a rock guitar aria over standard bass-drums-rhythm guitar.

Hey I really like this one. I think this may be my favourite of the CDs Douglas made for me.

Track 5 starts with "Om". Om namashibaya? Don't know what that means. Maybe Prabhakari would know. It's a led chant, a bit like Gaelic psalm-chanting, over a sequence of wind-organ drones. Very nice indeed.

Track six is a flute solo over spacey electronic effects constructed partly from the sound of the flute. heavy reverb/echo. Oh now it's swinging. Now it's kaleidoscopic. This is strange. Has a more sophisticated harmonic world.

Track seven is a funky rock-pop song. Suddenly there was a jazz inflection in the harmonies (an augmented 7th?) but it disappeared again. That happened in track 6 too. This is very nice. Mellow and smooth. Some nice noodling.

I have decided I don't like liccy papers after all. Pity, because I stocked up on them a while ago and have multiple packets in the desk drawer.

The sudden transition to Hare Krishna chanting in track 8 (with clapping and assorted Indian percussion as well as that string drone instrument they have) makes me think that on the original LP the tracks didn't run into each other attacca like this. But it worked earlier.

Track nine is a hippy song "Only love can save us". Reminds me a tiny bit of the Jesus music of the early seventies (Lamb, Keith Green etc). It livens up a bit... I'm thinking of the Bhagwan's Sannyasins clad in orange, grocking love vibes.

Dear old Bhagwan. Wonder if he's still around. I took his persona in a Balloon Debate in the Sixth Form. Tried to convince the people that I was the best person to have in the balloon.

Track ten is back to rock. Still quite soft though. I wish I could remember the name of the album Rigby played for me - I think it was early Pink Floyd, or it might have been Cream. Amazing acid rock, not "acid rock" (which I think is a genre of its own) but rock that is entirely concerned with exploring the acid experience. Very powerful. This is pretty mild stuff by comparison, though the guitar solo is OK.

Oh I see number 11 ran in as well. Perhaps they did run in to each other on the original LP.

This is strange vocal harmonising with solo lines interspersed. No words, just vocalising. No instruments but quite a lot of electronic effects. Weird that one.

Number 12 is a reprise of track 1. "Jesus, Buddha, Moses.." etc. Very sixties.

Bl&&dy norah Mellish has quoted me R13,850 for the paving job. I think I'll go with the other chap who quoted me R6,500. I will get that quote from him in writing and tell him to get on with the job. I know Mellish would do a very good job but that's really expensive, way over what I had budgeted for.

Anyway I like Quintessence.

I thought you'd like them. I think they make wonderful Sunday morning music. You'll find more information re. the band on:

http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_BAND.asp?band_id=1507


Douglas

I can't think of anything for church of the quality of "delete moments". He also printed the "lamentations" one. It seems that he likes it when I talk about the resources in Christ for dealing with sadness, trouble and so on. I have taken this hint and am trying not to produce theological essays but pastoral stuff that helps.

Problem is that while I know what is required, I am kind of fixated on the idea that ALL theology worthy of the name is pastoral, when read in the right way. I'm with Barth, in a way, sometimes, whatever, when he tells us that theology must be Christocentric. Real theology must bring the presence of Christ with it. And if it's real theology, it will be as healing as the presence of Christ is.

That's the challenge. That's why I'm so hung up on distinctively Christian usages of language and so on. I'm trying to analyse what it is about real theology that makes it so special.

Real theology can heal, deliver, save. I have spent the past what, 11 years grasping this simple truth. I wonder how long I'm going to have to spend grasping it until I have fully grasped it.

Anyway, practically I have to rein in my theological bent, because I'm not really ready to write healing theology yet, and concentrate on what I have learned and can testify to about the inner life. The problem here is the way I want to write about the inner life. I think writing about the inner life should be utterly, completely personal, and that the writer should make him or herself completely vulnerable to the reader. I have picked up from the minister's choice of pieces to publish that he thinks I veer too far in that direction, although he likes me to go a certain way along that road. Just not too far.

So, I have not only to find something to write about, but I also have to pitch it just right.

This is interesting. "Delete moments" came out really easily.

That's a major problem. I don't think I can write to commission in this way. I really have to wait for inspiration. I can't force it. It has to arise from the experience of living my life under God.

It's not that I don't have lots to say about the Christian life, it's just waiting for the right idea to present itself to me that I can work into an acceptable piece of writing for this purpose.

There is also an article which I was encouraged to write for a Christian journal. I should devote some time to thinking about the possibility of doing this. It's on the theology of mental illness. It says...... oh I can't sum it all up here. The problem really is that I can't think of a uniform language in which to express the full depth of what I want to say, in a piece of academic, running prose. I can preach it, but I can't find a way of writing it. That's my problem at the moment, and that's why I spend profitable hours of my leisure time arguing with jont about Christian logic and language.

jont is actually helping me more than he would ever realise.

wonder how that makes him feel - glad to help someone, but furious that he's helping me to dig myself deeper into the dangerous, harmful delusion of Christianity.

I need to achieve marriage between my head and my heart. It bothers me that I have not yet achieved this.

Why is it that Protestants, who preach total reliance on Christ in an extreme form, are so often working so hard to be human, whereas Catholics, who preach (or used to preach) "facere quod in se esse" (or some such formula) seem to get it just right?

I have recently been pondering this "facere quod in se esse". I think it's a much more psychologically healthy and realistic doctrine to hold than the extremist Protestant, dualistic idea.

facere quod in se est, whatever was I thinking.

(I really ought to read your entry before making my reply.. but I'm on my third Grolsch.. and what the hell)..

Sometimes Dag(*), I do wonder if you're more in love with theology than god.

(Damn and buggerit.. my fingers typed "dad" at that point - not a good sign)


Maybe you underestimate my perception, Dagesh, or my intention.. or is it my 'cunning'? Nah.. I only mean well. I may be mistaken - but I do mean well. Truly. Believe that about me if nothing else.. even if it makes you think I am horribly mistaken (which I might be), dislike me, or pity me.

Hope you are well.

(Now.. I better bluddy read your entry - if I can).

jont {;¬· >···{

ps: your previous date error (the one the day before the one I commented on) was even more bizarre.. but I could understand how you came to that figure

Disswoski-tromboli-up-malima-tojo is wot I was thinking.

jont {;¬· >···{

I don't believe that you will ever be able to do this - truly and honestly - until you've let go of the handrail. Your writing cannot be 'personal' - of 'personal experience' until you've released your grip on the (very external) thing that you have grasped so strongly because it so conveniently explained what you felt you experienced.

In essence, Dag, what I am trying to say is that if you've had a personal experience of god then think and write about that - and discard christianity (which is merely a manmade system of control).

Start from scratch. Start from within. Start with your direct (and only your direct) experience of god. Discard the rest. Do not forever struggle to make what you experience fit in with the external world. Reject the manmade, poisonous religion(s). Stand alone. Believe what /you/ believe (based purely on personal experience). Be true to yourself and let go of the handrail.. (your ability to see things from other angles is severely restricted until you do so). Throw away the crutch. Indeed, you seem to have dismissed the church.. next stop religion.. but you'll only be able to do that if you let go.

This advice wouldn't have been possible without the aid of our sponsors: Grolsch.

Keep well.

jont {;¬· >···{

Morning jont, how's it going?

I haven't exactly dismissed the church - I just have had enough of organised Christianity ("religion" of all kinds) for the time being. I make a distinction between Christianity, and Christ. I believe that Christ sets us free from Christianity.

My love for God is something so personal to me that I can't express it in words, only, falteringly, in actions - my love for theology is just a pale shadow, reflected in the imperfect mirror of my intellect, of the love that is God and in which I share.

Time for

This is interesting.

There will be no Bible at the hour of death, no theology, no hymns, no sermons, no good deeds, no bad deeds. Only faith, hope and love.