h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*starts spinning a large web in the corner of Niz's page.*

Hang on I've just dusted over there. Even better was I swiffered it first!!

Better even then Pledge dust & polish!!

Do you have a roll of Bounty perchance?

Well it is the strongest soaker upper. I have tried other kitchen rolls but they all break under strain. Not bounty.

Just have to polti this window.......

do bi do

See, it's steam....it's clean

*splats onto the glass*

*Uses Spatula to remove Incy from glass*

Now that's a clean window

Sorry about that!!

*Regains her flattened state with a foot pump*

There that's better, could have been injury there.

*floats gently into the air*

*burps*

*floats back to earth*

Cheers mate!

It was Macarana monkeys idea. That clever chimp with the cycling hat

Although thinking about it, it should be Macarana Ape not monkey

OHHHHHHhh I'm such a FOOL!!!

*starts hitting head with stuffed Hummingbird that has just returned from the taxidermist*

oohhh scary bloke!

*puts hummingbird away*

OOoops sorry about that I just hate when I get my primates mixed.

*Stands gingerly in one corner*

*puts one hairy leg up to take Niz's temperature*

Are you feeling alright?

Not bad at all now I have the primate conundrum out of the way.

Really hungry don't know what to have for lunch. Sick of fast food (tasteless rubbish) and pret is dull. Cheese/coleslaw sarnie mmmm

ooohhh yum but I am quite tempted by the thought of curry

(That is all any one eats here)

Now thats a lunch:

Lamb Rogan Josh
Chicken Jalfrazi
Chicken Madras
Gobi aloo saag
Lamb Korai
Bombay potato
Peshwari naan
raita

mmm............mmmmm

Oh damn it, now I'm weak with hunger

Prawn Rojan Josh....

Taxi! Brick Lane this instant!

*slaver slaver*

mmm...curry...cobra beer...

I'm actually half way through eating the desk

puri... pappads.... mango chutney.... sag aloo....

I can't take any more!!

*faints*

Sadly I'm now off to Mc D's

Pants

and I am off the chiller section of M&S - yes those bombay potatoes will be mine

Damn it a big mac meal is no patch on bombay potato

No fair

*sulks*

Actually I work near the M&S on oxford st. Didn't think of that...PANTS