h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is there a phrase that means "you are a wally" in French? Nothing too insulting, just something a bit light hearted?

You could say affectionately "Tu es con" (you're stupid), more likely "T'es con!" "Mais qu'est-ce que t'est con!" "Il est con celui-là!". It all hinges on the tone of voice.

There is also "andouille" (pork product), which can be affectionate: "Quelle andouille celui-là!" (what a chump).

"Con" as you would expect from the primary slang meaning is very versatile. Said seriously it could lead to blows. Strangely enough, the feminine "conne" can NEVER be used affectionately. Both "con" and "conne" come with lots of initial kkks depending on level of frustration.

Regional variant: in the South-East of France, "con" (stupid) or "putain de con" (more stupid) is used without particular meaning as a sort of verbal punctuation, like Mmm, or Oh, Er, etc. It takes some getting used to.

Thank you

Is an "andouille" a particular type of pork product, e.g. spam, or just the general term for any pork product?

An andouille is pig's intestines wrapped up in a piece of the large intestine in the shape of a big sausage. It's steamed or boiled, sometimes smoked and served in small slices as a starter, like saucisson.

Andouillette is the same thing but smaller and is fried or grilled.

I never touch them but O/H loves andouillettes (despite incredible calorie count and cholesterol level).

Of course my reply was common usage. Youthspeak would be "blaireau" (badger) or "bouffon" (buffoon). Or reverse slang as "reloud", for "lourd" (heavy).

I have come to use "lourd" quite a bit myself when speaking of someone that is both stupid and unbearable. Various names spring to mind.