h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gosh, we'll be needing a zombie smiley now.
You should really have returned on the night of the living dead you know - there was a too.

Welcome back. You've been sorely missed.

Thanks.

I could give all sorts of fancy reasons for returning, but the truth is.... I missed you. Yes you, you lovely furry creature, you...

I see. You found yourself hankering after a little pussy...

Somehow a consoling hank was not the same at all!

No, I can see that it wouldn't be.
Personally, I prefer to play with the balls. (The wool doesn't get quite so tangled.)

What I'd like to know, though, is how well can you hold your liquor?

Depends very much on the skills of the licker, sorry, liquor.


(btw, having suddenly appeared, I will now disappear. See you later in the week!)

I was about to give you a Screwdriver.
Oh well, c'est la vie.
When you return you'll find me on my hands and knees in the kitchen, playing with a big tool.

Unhand that tool, wench!

Seeing you like that brings out the clever translator in me! Not to mention the cocktail (Or were you still talking tools?)

Ooh, I do so enjoy the linguistic contortions of an expert wordsmith

And such a delicious cocktail too. Love the creamy dressing on the prawn

A cunning linguist always appreciates appreciation.

Btw, have you come across that fellow Ted at all? I am tole he can turn prawns into lobsters!

Quiet pussies may be polite and well behaved, but are not at all so interesting! Or perhaps you are distracted by your efforts at Doing-It-Yourself.

Forgive me for missing your emergence sir. I was playing with a number of large tools.
(And indeed 'twas such a small one 'twas easily overlooked)

I much prefer the estate of that fellow Ted. Hard to feel anything but relaxed, n'est-ce pas?

Hmm... an impressive tool technique if I may say so, and all this is the kitchen too! I do like the way you use that hammer. There's not a lot of pussies can handle a long shaft like that.