h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't do it okay. Look, all my Volvo owning parenty types live in Santa Monica, do you really want that too? Oh yeah and I know all this 'cos of those big 747 things that really do fly, honest. Trust me on this okay?

Don't do what? Why would I trust anyone who thinks 747s fly? Have you seen the new Volvo stationwagons? They are massively cool looking and if you see something neato by the side of the road you can pull over and toss it in and you can bring home the stuff you get at Home Depot too. I have a bad habbit of buying something huge and getting to the parking lot before I realize I didn't drive up in a flatbed and I wish I had. Also, Robert Plant is really very old and very, very wrinkly. Besides, I don't live in Santa Monica. I live in Venice. Totally different.

Exactly my point! There you are in Venice living a life that thinks a garden and no money is the way to go and then you talk about cloning yourself into a SANTA MONICAN volvo owner.......

PS Going to suffer all that drugs and tubes things again. Need to get back to Paris (as opposed to Venice..)

I don't envy you the trip in the pnumatic tubes. I don't react well to the drugs I fear. Maybe you fare better. Unfortunatly them's the price you have to pay to wake up in Paris. So far, that hasn't happened to me. Well, not in this lifetime.

Didn't happen to me that time either, I ended up in North Wales.

Ok, did you climb into the wrong tube or what?

No - just got an invitation I couldn't refuse so see stunning Snowdonia and the Anglesea coast at Beaumaris. Just a delightful distraction (or the wrong tube?).

It wasn't the wrong tube if it took you where you wanted to go! I'm sending my folks to spend a week in Aguascalientes for their 50th anniversary. Mom is sounding excited and Dad has been told to stop grumbling because he has no choice, he is going. Somehow my two oldest sisters and my brother's daughter were added to the party. Mom wanted a non-stop tube to cut down on the chances for lost luggage and other hassles. She still thinks airplanes fly (I haven't told her the truth about them).

Actually if you want the luggage to end up at the same place as you (and the same place that is on the ticket ) then you just HAVE to send them on different flights (sorry - down different tubes).

Holiday paid for in Mexico; I'm in Chigago; Luggage in Des Moins.

look I dont make the rules, I just fly the damn things.

Well, then it's too late. Tickets have been purchased for nonstop trips. I'll just cross my fingers and hope the luggage ends up with them (if not, they can speakafy spangola so they'll survive). As for "flights", remember there are people who think pro wrestling is on the level, that Elvis is alive, and that Andy Kaufman never really had cancer. Then there are things like the statues on Easter Island, Stonehenge, and spontaneous human combustion. Where was I going with this? I forget. Have you seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I'm shocked at how well I like that show. It's a modern Batman only better. I think it's replaced the X-files in my heart. Are you in Chicago now, or was that an algory? I'm not sure what an alagory is. Can you tell me?

Hope it was an algory (???)^'cos I'm in Paris. Trouble is that's only what the locals call it, this Eifel Tower could be las Vegas and I could have been in yet another bad tube thing. Whatever it is that you've got it seems to be catching.

Shame you're so cynical about Elvis.......

Saying your in Paris is not being very specific. There's one in Texas after all. ALLEGORY! I looked it up. I oft don't know what I'm talking about BUT I ALWAYS SAY IT WITH CONVICTION and that gets me by more than you'd think. I was asking if your being where you were was a allegory but you're not there any more so I'll move on too. Elvis? According to DNA in the 5th book of the H2G2 trilogy he's playing a roadside diner where the Perfectly Normal Beasts roam. The jist of the rant was this: Who knows what's what? Not anyone on this planet, that's for sure. I know that neither evolution nor jet propulsion have been proven and I take every opportunity to remind others not to be so sure of everything they see or hear. Doctors used to apply leeches, and vibrators were invented to treat women for hysteria. Short memories make for a dull world.

Mmmmmm well first let me say I'm right with you on the take nothing as you see it - but - seems the doctors have started to use the leeches again (seriously) and now women use vibrators to get hysterical (I think that's what they call it) ..... and so the world turns.


Well today I'm in Paris, France, Europe, World, third planet etc. Just outside the Musee d'Orsay in fact and even though it's 4.15am here I'm still buzzing with excitement. Just had one of those evenings you want to bottle and bring out time and time again.

And now I need to call Santa Monica to share my news with my best pal. Enjoy the evening.

Leeches? Really? I had a pet leech in college. He ate raw hamburger and my roomie made me throw him out because his water was stinking up our dorm room. He was a left over from Invertabrate Zoology lab. We had to poke around in some really weird stuff that quarter. Majoring in the life sciences gives you a stomach of steel. After that everything else pales in comparison (oddly, I still scream when I see a roach and I almost barfed the last time I tried to eat tofu so maybe not).

Glad you're having such a good night. I managed to add to my sunburn, spent an hour on a treadmill, had protien drink and a slice for dinner, so I had a great day too(seriously). Now I'm adding to the journal, showering, and turning in. Hope the good streak continues for us both.

"I have a bad habbit of buying something huge" better than a Huge bad Hobbit
The Chairman

is that your version of "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"?

Had one of those, not all they're cracked up to be.
BTW I think the same technology (air travel, not lobotomies) is used on the channel tunnel, only they've done away with the airport farce. I guess the gas works quicker nowadays, they used to have to get you to the "airport" a couple of hours before, and that's where the conspiracy begins!

Ah, the tubes in London are a bit more honest, aren't they? They sent a chihuahua to spy on me. He's looking at me right now so I can't be too long, or too detailed, but suffice it to say that the truth is out there, and I am to find it. Next week I do a bit of feild work. I am taking a canister to Cancun and a week later I am taking another one back here. You never know when someone will slip up and forget to light up one of the holograms or something.

They made a clear mistake when I went there... it was full of Americans, not a mexican in sight! Oops!

Wow. A decoy city? Well, they really only had to have it LOOK like a city. I bet it was all a hologram. Hmm. Cancel that. If it was a hologram, they'd have put Mexicans in it, unless, maybe the city was a hologram and they have real people "populating" it... but, why, hmmm. I suppose it had something to do with your point of departure. If the pnuematic tube between your starting point and the real Cancun was down for repairs, and there weren't any Mexicans in this alternate location where you were shipped, they had no choice but to make due. Hmmm. Many mysteries...