h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just came over to see your page and noticed you're an Essex person. I once went to a Blues Festival at Colne in Lancashire but I've never been to Colne in Essex. I've been to East Sussex which sounds a bit like Essex (in fact I was born there). I've been through Essex. I guess none of this counts, does it? You were addressing people who've actually been to Earls Colne in Essex. Sorry, I was just trying to remind you of home. Sounds to me as though your present home couldn't be beat. The bird life in Essex certainly couldn't compete with the birds in you garden in Tasmania.

Labradors are great. One of my last pair of dogs was an Alsatian/Labrador cross. She looked like a timber wolf. After she died, my other dog never really got over it (neither did I) and he used to get all excited whenever he saw a Labrador coming towards us in the distance. Then he'd be disappointed it wasn't her. He was fooled by that way Labradors have of walking - you know the way I mean?

Gooday Salamander the Mugwump,

How nice of you to stop by and chat. You are right about my home here in Tasmania, it would be hard to beat, although unlike Wandrin'star I have very fond memories of my boyhood in Earls Colne, which was - and probably still is - a very special place. And I have to say the bird life was fantastic back then, although it seems as if things are not what they once were (but that's true of most things, including the accuracy of memories). You were born in Essex - whereabouts? Yes, Labradors are wonderful creatures, and I know just what you mean about their distinctive walk. Our current version, Ben, nicknamed the vandal, is not yet a year old. He still thinks that the sheep and horses next door are his siblings. Take care,

Walter.

There I go misleading you. I hail from East Sussex, not Essex. Memories of childhood can be unreliable and rosy but things change too. I was brought up on Brighton beach where my parents worked. I remember the sea being crystal clear. Now it looks like pea soup. That's not a faulty memory - that's what's happened to the sea. They've been carrying out a garden bird survey where I currently live (Leicestershire) and the British Trust for Ornithology Census of Common Birds suggests that the song thrush faces extinction locally and nationally it's declined by 50% in the last 25 years. We could almost wish our perceptions faulty - the reality is so much worse.

In my experience all dogs called Ben are mischievous. If you want your dog to be a rascal, call him Ben! I bet he's lovely.

Gooday Salamander the Mugwump,

Ben the vandal is a beaut dog, but you are quite right, he sure is an A-grade rascal; maybe the name does have something to do with it. Sorry, I misread your posting and got too excited about the reference to Essex (there aren't too many things that get me excited these days, so you will I hope excuse me). I returned your compliment and visited your page, and read with interest about your snake sighting. Under most circumstances I am with you about all creatures great and small, but some snakes and most spiders are on the exemption list. The last snake I saw was in my back garden, earlier this year, in mid-Summer (when they are breeding and at their most ill-tempered); it was a Tiger snake, maybe four feet long, and had two fledgelings in its mouth following a successful raid on a bird's nest in one of the shrubs. I threw a piece of wood at it, which missed, it reared up, and I beat a tactical retreat. By the time I returned, armed with a spade, the snake had disappeared; a clear points win to the snake.

Unreliable and rosy memories: have you noticed how things always seemed larger, and usually better, than they actually are when one is in childhood? And what a great shame about the song thrushes, which are among my favourites. Tapping their snails on stones in the garden to break the shells - now THAT isn't an unreliable memory. Melbourne parks and gardens have a number of thrushes, although I haven't seen any here in Tassie. For now, take care,

Walter.

My brother has a border collie called Ben and there are lots of dogs round here called Ben - mostly collies. A local farmer paid the sort of money often referred to as "an arm and a leg" for my brother's Ben. He was supposed to be a trained sheep dog. He was very good at his job but once the sheep were rounded up, he'd so enjoyed the round up that he'd then charge like a maniac into the flock and scatter them all over the field again, just to have the pleasure of rounding them up again. This caused the farmer some annoyance so eventually, he faced the fact that Ben was just in the job for the fun of it, would never really take it seriously and gave him to my brother. My brother can't get over how obedient Ben is, right up to the moment you take your eyes off him, then, well, he's a little devil. The obvious answer is to focus your attention on him 100% of the time. That's all Ben wants from his human! Then he'd never be naughty.

I suppose I shouldn't be judgemental about the snake business. We don't get that many of them here and the ones we do get are rarely poisonous and the ones that are poisonous aren't usually deadly (as long as the bite victim's healthy to start with). I don't think I'd be unhappy to have poisonous snakes in my garden if I was the only person who went in the garden. My dogs are a bit dopey though. They might get bitten and that would upset me. In general, my attitude is that humans have no superior claim on territory in principle but in practice it turns out that "might is right" and we seem to be making a pretty thorough job of eliminating just about anything we find threatening. Incidentally, I saw a program on spiders a while back and they were saying that the deadliest venom in any spider is found in those little round-bodied spiders with the very long legs (can't remember what they're called) that are common in Britain. The thing is, they could kill a tarantula for example but they can't get their incy-wincy little nashers into a human, so they're no threat to us whatever.

Things seem bigger when you're a kid because you're so much smaller. I went back to the house I was born in when I was in my 20s and couldn't believe how little it was. The walls I couldn't see over then were about waist high on the adult me and the huge back garden wasn't much bigger than a pocket hanky. And as for things seeming better back when we were very young, I think we probably had more capacity for wonder and fun and no responsibility or arthritis. Also, there really were more thrushes.

Hi Walter,
I missed you when I turned on the machine this morning. I guess Dunx and I have become too esoteric in the topic drift. So I thought I'd bring my coffee over to your garden for a few minutes.
Hong Kong is sharply divided into the built up centre, where I live and which contains some of the most densely populated areas on earth, and the New Terrtories which have lots of national park type stuff. There's a surprisingly large amount of bird-life though even in the centre, but people keep a lot of cats (to keep down the rats) so none of it is easy to watch (unless it's in cages on balconies). There are some splendid hawks/kestrels? roosting on the skyscrapers and some possible shrikes twenty feet from my front door.
Thanks for the coffee break
Have a nice day