h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Goshoogoshoogosh, having recently been made redundant when a newspaper I worked on for over 25 years merged with another one, I feel your pain.

I haven't been back to Pomland since the 70s. I don't want to spoil the memories.... as returning to youthful pastures tends to do.

I do so agree, things are never the same when you go back. London ain't what it used to be: no urchins going around with no shoes on, no Eliza singing in Covent Garden Market, only street musicians, escapologists, mime acts, etc. and stalls selling modern rubbish. Mind you the Covent Garden Store sells wonderful double choc muffins - yummy! Worst of all there's no smog nor Jack the Ripper!!! And to top it all, you 'ardly 'ear the Cockney accent - it's all the ozzies with their sun-bleached hair

Just why are we called "poms"? It wouldn't be anything to do with the fact that the "pommes" that we (used to) grow are really great?!!

Some people say it harks back to the transporting of convicts to Australia days. POME = Prisoner of Mother England or, as some others say, the text was stitched into convicts clothing POME = Property of Mother England. Another school of thought is that the prisoners were so susceptible to sunburn they looked like pommegrates (sp?)

INSIDE THE MIND OF A MAN AT C&A.
An extract from The Secret Diaries. Friday, June 23, 1973

Woke late and took it easy in bed listening to You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by Bachman Turner Overdrive. One of the chicks brought me breakfast (bacon, sausages, eggs - sunnyside up, natch - just like I like) and then it was time to get on out.

Cruised downtown in the Lancia and swung by the chemist (Malc The Talc's) for Brut and something for the weekend. Then to the main business of the day - a seasonal wardrobe rethink with my man Ray down at C&A. "Ray," I began, "let's do the easy stuff first. It's going to be summer soon and you know what kind of a guy I am. Tell me you haven't run out of those yellow Y-fronts with purple trim." "Not at all, sir," said Ray. "Plenty left. I take it that the maroon and beige have lived up to expectations."

"For me to know and you to guess. Now, what's new?" The next 30 minutes, dearest diary, were life-changing. First of all Ray comes over with these, like, special trousers - tight where the ladies like it tight but flared at the bottom.

Then he fetches one of these sweaters designed so that you can show off the watch to maximum advantage - even wear it on the outside, over the sleeve, if the mood is rude (and it usually is). Both garments, by the way, with full-stretch freedom (and doesn't that come as a big relief).

But the final touch was all mine. I spotted the belted tunic - the camel and white combo was a killer. Man, I came up with the "Three Piece Set". Fashion comes and goes but style... well, what can I say? It's here to stay. Two words: C&A.

And yeah - later, you could say that I hustled a few frames off Fat James down at The Lazy Baize.

Alas, C&A is no more. I'm told they closed up shop last year

That's a hoot Looneytunes And you know what, I still have my C&A "Crombie" (bought in...'73-ish). It's almost too small (even after my mother let down the sleeves a bit about 5 years after I bought it), and the lining is shot to b****y, but I couldn't part with it. I can only wear it now if I have a t-shirt on - it's just too tight to wear over a sweater.
Ah yes, two-tone Y-fronts. I remember them well . And splashing it on all over (the Brut, that is). I must say though, I never wore my watch over my sweater, and I'm very proud to say that I never wore my shirt collar outside my jacket (a la Starsky and Hutch), even though some of those Ben Sherman and Brutus shirts had collars you could almost use to take off with if you ran fast enough into a headwind

Cripes!! I didn't realise I was speaking to two "men-about-town" types - from the sounds of it, the girls had to be wary of you two!
Ah yes, I remember the honk of Brut - skating at Queensway ice-rink (afternoon & evening at weekends) - walking down Bayswater Road: all the "men" with open shirts, hairy chests, medallions & the stink of Brut - uggggh! What WAS so great about Brut, except that good old 'enery (the boxer) advertised it?

I have to admit I did wear blouse collars over my jackets, but then I was female (strangely, I still am - odd that )

My ex's mother used to buy his underpants from Marks & Sparks - oh, they were horrible: psycodelic wasn't the word I can assure you. (Crikey I can't even spell that now!) Just yuk bad taste!

Now, have either of you ever owned a bomber jacket or afghan coat? I wanted both, but was never allowed to buy one!!

Do you realise that kids of the future might well be studying these memories as part of their history degrees?

Yeah Shirps, I had an Afghan When you say "bomber jacket", do you mean a Harrington? I had one of those green USAF thingies with the orange lining, but that was quite recently - kept me nice and warm when I was out delivering TNT in the winter. I never had a Harrington - they were the ones with a tartan lining, and that kind of scooped seam across the back. Most of the people I knew who had one went for the black colour, but I saw a few two-tone tonic Harringtons too. Man, if there was one item of clothing I'd love to get my hands on now....
As for the Afghan, well that was a few years later, after I'd grown my hair long, started wearing those denims made entirely from patches, and listening to the likes of Genesis, Curved Air, and Wishbone Ash. It ended up going mouldy in the broom cupboard and I had to throw it away
I'd hardly call meself a man about town . Under-age drinker about The Golden Lion maybe, and sometimes The White Hart
I just did a little websearch on "Harrington Jacket", and you can still get 'em

Hi Gosh

Never heard of a Harrington. The bomber jackets I was referring to had sheepskin inside & black leather outside.

I think ma & pa never let me have an Afghan 'cos of the smell, especially when they got wet. I got my own back though went I went to Morrocco & brought back a goatskin - pheew!

A friend of mine had a pair of jeans where no original jean material was left - it was entirely made up of patches!! I wonder if he still has them!

My cousin left me his entire collection of Genesis LPs when he went to the US & I have a few of my own Wishbone Ash. Hmmm, Curved Air - rings a faint bell, but that's all - can't remember them.

Now, do you think S would like you in a Harrington? Think before buying - I know that cats play when the mice are away, but ....

Shirps, it's 1am, and according to the "who's online" thingy, you're.... well, online. Whatchoo doing up at this ungodly hour? You must remember Curved Air - Back Street Luv and all that.

Hi there - must have logged off just before your message got through to me. Hmmmm, well R got up & came down to see if I was alright as it was so late. I used to stay up till around 2am at one time!! SO you must have a pretty good time clock to work out what time it was here - there's something, somewhere on the 'puter where I can find time zones - I theeenk!!

Basically I was logged onto the Gateway site trying to find & print out details of various customised computers for a friend. Talk about circles!!

Sometimes I wake up in the evening & prefer to stay up late - of course, I regret it in the morning R isn't used to this though, but as he opened the door, Holly woke up & took the chance to race upstairs. Guess who R slept with last night

Yep - that's triggered the little grey cells Back Street Luv, I don't think the name of the group ever registered with me properly - sorry!

Did Steph have a good time away? Have you managed to get through the study you needed to?

We've just returned from Art Soc. meeting - practical portrait - as usual I had to spend the evening chatting to members. Next Tues we've got a committee meeting - the first proper one for 2 years - like the way I run the club?

Hear from you soon.
Shirps
xx to you both

Bran the Explorer - are you there ..........?

Give my regards to Walter & Beloved, tell them not to work too hard!!

Shirps

Sure will Shirps. I have actually emailed him about messages and salutations on the Guide, but he has been a touch busy, so no luck as yet in reply.

I'll let him know again that you were asking after him.

Cheerio
Bran.

Thankee very much Bran!

Shirps

An industrious Australian? Surely an oxymoron

A touch of jealousy perhaps Looney?

In breaking news, it seems the Poms are "teaching" the Aussies bad habits...

Cricket may no longer claim to be a gentleman's game, but a fly-on-the-wall television documentary about Shane Warne's season with Hampshire last year has shocked even the most broad-minded fans.

The programme, Hampshire Cricket 2000, was screened late at night on April 12 in the Meridian TV area and was preceded by a warning that it contained "strong language throughout".

But nothing could have prepared viewers for the outpouring of four-letter words that followed, nor the treatment of the Australian spinner's trouble with a Leicester nurse and his ensuing marital difficulties.

One viewer complained: "The language was foul the whole way through, with Warne using f*** as his normal adjective and the Hampshire captain [Robin] Smith using it in conversation. The players also used it when out cheaply and returning to the dressing room, some hurling bats as well."

For a county still searching for a sponsor, allowing the Meridian cameras into the dressing-room was about as sensible as Graham Taylor's decision to cooperate with Channel 4's notorious "do I not like that" documentary - particularly since Channel 4 have now acquired the film and intend to broadcast it nationally before this summer's Ashes series.

And of course, English cricket players never use that kind of language. Oh, nonononononononononono

Er .......... methinks I'll stay out of this & make no comment whatsoever!!!! Except:

I think it's most unfair - in addition to having two hands the Australian cricketers have a pouch to catch their balls.

I HAD to say something - maybe I should have kept quiet! Erm ... OK I'll own up - other 'arf just said that comment.

Gosh, have you seen the Churchill insurance advert on TV? THE dog - nonono, etc., I want one just like that for the campervan. Does anyone know where I can get one?

Er .......... methinks I'll stay out of this & make no comment whatsoever!!!! Except:

I think it's most unfair - in addition to having two hands the Australian cricketers have a pouch to catch their balls.

I HAD to say something - maybe I should have kept quiet! Erm ... OK I'll own up - other 'arf just said that comment.

Gosh, have you seen the Churchill insurance advert on TV? THE dog - nonono, etc., I want one just like that for the campervan. Does anyone know where I can get one?

They're still showing that ad? Was that the one with voice that sounds like Vic Reeves doing Derek Guyler? "I was in The Desert Rats you know. Oh yus. Me and Monty you know, we were like that. Oh yus"

In the late 70s I used to drink at The Rat House. Named after the Desert Rats, it's a Returned Serviceman's Club (RSL) situated across the road from Bondi Beach.

It was a good spot to spend an afternoon drinking while perving at the sheilas on the beach. Featuring large one-way glass windows, we could see out but people couldn't see in