h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A377237

This is my entry: Tips for visiting munich
I want this entry to be edited.
And comments, what can be improved. And if it´s interesting at all!?

Thank you
Gemini

Hi,

You're probably new here - Don't take the following comments as if they were mean criticisms. They are intended to help.

First of all: Give the entry some paragraphs, this makes them more digestible.

Then: Avoid the 1st person - you probably are new here, this is a typical newbie thing.

There are LOTS of spelling and grammar nits in there - I am a non-english myself, but at a quick glance I saw some. This is nothing serious, but tidy english helps.

I'll be posting some comments concerning the contents as soon as I read through the entry more carefully.

HELL
(O'zapft is!)

Allright, finished.

There's another typical newbie thing: The title is far more general than the contents. Maybe you would want to re-title the entry to: 'Churches in Munich' or something in these lines, since you concentrate on that.

There's definetly more in Munich than Oktoberfest - you are absolutely right about that, but there's more than churches too (some in the guide already): Parks, Castles, Musea, the Olympic Park, etc... You don't touch that in the entry, you concentrate on the curches... Well, you get the picture.

So summing up:

1. Re-title the entry to suit the content.

2. Get rid of the 1st person bits.

3. Add paragraphs.

4. Check some spelling (or leave it to the editor).

Apart from that it's a good entry. I learned some stuff about the churches I pass by every now and then. (Sometimes I'm in Munich)

Bye,

HELL

PS: Don't get disappointed by the comments, it's not as tough as it seems. Good work.

Hi from a fellow Munich dweller (although only a 'Zuagroasta')

Useful tips, indeed! But first of all, you cannot submit your Personal Space for inclusion into the Guide. Use that 'click here to add a new Guide entry' link somewhere on the bottom of your space to do that, then copy & paste the contents over.

The Tina-Turner, er... Theatinerkirche plus the Pinakothek (old and new) might be worth including too

Or: Lenbachhaus? Deutsches Museum? Gasteig? Maximilanstrasse? (...)

The list is endless Bossel,

I think the wisest thing to do would be to re-title the entry.

HELL
(once a zuagraster, too, I used to live at the Bonner Platz, near the Luitpold Park)

Hi,

wasn´t there already an entry on the Museums in Munich?
But Thanks: The Theatinerkirche is worth it.

Bye

Thanks, Hell!

Useful hints! But my english is indeed not good enough.
So I better look for some help

Bye

Hey, guess where *I* learned English... !

The title is much better now. Your English is fine, you probably just didn't read through it again, I'm sure you would have caught most of the typos and misspellings... But hey, the editors are nice folks, they get rid of all wrong bits.

Another hint: Look carefully to the passages with personal oppinions and 1st person - These are OK everywhere else in the guide, but not in the edited part. (eg. 'I'm not catholic...') If you still think this is important there's always the phrase: 'The author of this entry is not a catholic...'.

Hint #2: I am not sure whether smileys are accepted in edited entries. (I think not, so you might want to get rid of them too).

Nice entry, some little grinding and it'll be OK.

HELL

PS: Ever tried GuideML?

Hi Hell,

no, never tried GuideML, because my smileys didn´t work there

But it´s surely useful for making paragraphs etc....
This will take a while.

Best Wishes
Bye

Don't worry! GuideML isn't really required (however, it would be nice and saving the SubEd some work). You can always indicate headers with double line spacing and _underlining_them or putting them IN UPPERCASE etc.

However, you *should* create a new entry because at the moment the contents are on your personal space which is the place to put in some greetings to the outside world and/or some words about yourself.

Hi Gemini,

I was also a 'Zuagroasta' (mods. that's a non-native). I lived at last stop on the S1, north, where there's also an Asam Brothers' cathedral. If you hadn't burned down the bridge over the Isar, we would have grown to the size Munich did. Now I'm a ganz weit weg 'groasta' - Kanada (mods. one who has traveled far away)).
Your entry could be the beginings of something quite good. But as a first step you should do what Bossel also suggested and create a new, separate entry.

I think I saw a "privat" that should be private.
Keep up the good work.

Awu.

Is this author AWOL? I had a hard time telling from hir user page.


Mikey

I had a look at Gemini's personal space, Mikey. I could see no evidence of postings for as far as I was prepared to look back on hir older postings.

A candidate for the SB, sadly. However it was a promising start, I thought, so someone else might pick up the pieces and run with it.

are you pointing at a certain Munich resident?

This one isn't heading to the sinbin, but rather to the Flea Market. Hopefully, someone will pick it up.


Mikey

Apparently, it's now back to Gemini's personal space

Probably because the author didn't submit an entry, s/he submitted his/her personal space, with the content about Munich in it.

:/
Mikey

Oh me!