h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You sir, are a simian looking individual!

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That was a bit harsh, I look nothing lika a pikey!

imagine if you will,

a man who lives in a carboard box. he has his usual bag of crap his hat with a button and 30p in it. with his dancing albino monkey that strangely looks like a cotton bud. (terry)

he wonders the streets all day singing his erectus dominus song and strumming his hand along to the rhythm. not knowing that he has aids.

until one day he wonders upon a rich handsome strapping you lad call campo. campo looks down on this waste of air and out of nowhere stone cold stunners this god forsaken loon. out cold on the floor he then rips of his armani armband and continues to unleash the peoples elbow on this white trash.

the tramp (GIDDY!) returns to his box and strangles himself whilst pulling of the albino mionkey that strangley looks like a cotton bud until he slips away and dies.



giddy this will happen to you in the future so SAVE YOURSELF THE PAIN AND GO DIE!!!

You have the personality of a whelk and the appearance of a 'just got out of the mud' Wookey. MWWAAAWWWWAAWWW!

im outraged, call that an insult/

your standards really have dropped.
c`mon swampy tell me waht you really think!

>>imagine if you will<< good "STORY" camp

but the truth is that this is a personal dream of yours to have a
bag of crap a hat with a button and 30p.

terry,


if i were to place you and giddy in a bag hey presto bag of crap. and with a sprinkle of newcastle utd it becomes it becomes 5million stale tampons with baby crap and giddys socks,

the hat. is symbol of being on top like being on the top of your head. i therefore dream man utd are on top and that they are. therefore it is reality.

the 30p symbolises 30 pieces of gold which i shall hand to mike ashley. because he has sold out newcastle and is a traitor. the gold will buy him a few pints. heck i shall buy him one for driving the ass hole of the premier league into the ground

best wishes...

>>the 30p symbolises 30 pieces of gold <<

no it doesnt you spent the 30p on buying gold (well what you thought was gold) but you neglectd the fact that it had "FOOLS" written above it and now you dont have 30p or gold.

fools gold for a fool <<>

What's with this unprovoked attack?

Allow me to speculate........

Growing up alone in a cupboard and only fed on fish heads and other scraps unworthy of a dogs attention, Paul Camps developed an anger to people he felt had authority over him (sadly this means even cat faeces) He would wallow in his own filth at school to gain the lustful looks of his only friend 'Hairlip Steve' Rejected by Steve repeatedly, he began to become his only friend. To pleasure himself he invented a sock puppet lover but overuse during repeats of the Tweenies saw him mulch it to death. Soon after being abandoned by his family and even the pet hamster Paul was put into an orphanage.

At age 14, Paul Camps was left alone by his carers at the orphanage as they went on holiday although they didn't really go on holiday, they just moved to a different orphanage. Seething with rage he took on a new. darker persona called Campo.

Present day you will see him frequent the streets at night always staying in the shadows. One day he hit on a Tramp and his pet albino monkey but was rejected once again as the tramp had enough on his plate looking after his bag of crap. Anyways he went on to get a job (somehow) at National Grid where he became the 148th most popular guy there beating the water cooler and a brush.
He has a weakness that makes him vulnerable to snowballs and combs.

The end

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After a couple of months working at national grid (very) camp realised that he wasnt going anywhere he had a converation with his only friend in the centre, the brush (they looked very simular) but the conversation went no where and the only one that made sense was the brush so they left it.....

and that the the most eventful day of his life

Leave Tobias out of this!!!

And you just got served by Terry!!!

terry terry terry

tsk tsk tsk

dont give up your day job. no seriously, the world is in dire need of monkeys who make the milky bar kid look like barry white.

on the other banana clenched paw that smells like damp faeces you say i look like a brush.
i take this as a compliment. as i am indeed long and hard like wood but thats a different story.

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i dont really take offence from people who look like a mix between a naked mole rat and a member of the brady bunch, people like you cant have a opinion on looks.

So, picking on young Terry huh? make you feel big? strong? or does it just distract from how truly pathetic your very existence is?

"Please children, pay attention whilst I read from the saddest people in history book. Open them up to page 8" demanded the teacher.
"page 8!" she reiterated to the more pupils sat at the back of the class, this time in a more sterner tone.
After reading the entire section on Paul Camps (which was pretty much the whole book) she placed it on her desk taking care not knock other books over and muttered something under her breath. She felt pleased that it was in the cirriculum, that kids had to learn how not to become the train wreck that is Paul Camps.

TBC 06/02/09

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not true, but your a complete !*^%$"££"
with a lack of &^$%£"$