h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One-Side, Two-side, Red Fish, Blue Fish
Seth Kurczodyna P.2
What is the best way to advertise? This is the question everyone starting a business, or even continuing one, will face. There are a number of different techniques that businesses use. The chief decisions among these are: “Should I use one-sided or two-sided advertising? Which is better?” and “Should I get a celebrity endorsement?” One-sided vs. two-sided. Celebrity vs. non-celebrity. Doing it right can make a product. Doing it wrong can break it. Which is the best? Which is the worst?
One-Sided Advertisements
The bulk of advertisements we see today are one-sided. This meaning we hear the good things about the product, and only good things. A store that’s “cheep.” A candy that let’s you “taste the rainbow.” A soda to “obey your thirst.” These are advertising slogans that are familiar to us. And, looking back on the commercials and flyers and posters in stores, I doubt we can come up with any down-sides. Maybe our own minds can come up with them, but only if specific attention is brought to them. These ads have been designed to tell us everything good about the product, screaming out: “I’m the best! Buy me! Buy me!”
And it’s true. For many products, this is the best route to go. Would you buy a Sprite if they told you just how much sugar was involved in “obeying your thirst”? These kinds of products obviously have an advantage in leaving out certain details. But what about a store? Food Maxx proclaims its prices are “cheep! (Cheap)” This is true for a number of items, however, most brand names, like Oreo cookies, or Pepsi, will be found at the same price, or possibly even less at other stores. Of course, the slogan “Cheep except brand names” is not exactly a big go-getter.