h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hamdoulillah - welcome to the club

I'm beginning to feel old now

I don't watch Top of the Pops, I prefer Terry Wogan to Chris Moyles, I ask my daughter to turn her music down I'm getting Old

I don't even have a television!

I don't watch a lot, I mainly watch DVD's and videos

OK - I watch DVD's on my Mac - maybe it's cheating.

No I don't think so

That is indeed a relief.

I used to watch DVD's on my laptop at work

That really is cheating - you are paid to work, not watch DVDs - I work for myself though and can do what I like - when I like.

I have a very boring job which involves a lot of sitting in the office

Try making it more interesting. Think differently!

I don't think I do, I leave the thinking to the management

How Company Policies Get Established:

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Every time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice cold water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey. One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced.

Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice cold water. None of them ever attempt to climb the ladder, but all of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

"AND THAT'S HOW GOVERNMENT AND COMPANY POLICIES GET ESTABLISHED"

Have you got a thing about monkeys?

Only performing ones - honest

Ok