h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am very sorry if I have upset you on the Virginity posting and soundded judgemental. Please forgive me, and I wonder if we could have friends. My attiude is due to the traumatic experiences I have had in my life, which has left a very large mental scar. I hope you do not think I am prudish, I am not. Time for me is running out quickly and finding a boyfriend gets harder and harder. I look very young for my age 39 (late teens -early twenties). It does not help because I am very shy. I am now restorting to use dating agencies just to get a date. I do not have much confidence in myself because of the knockbacks I have had recently, I keep on trying to get a boyfriend but it comes to bothing via penpals and chatrooms. I wonder if you could give me any advice on how to improve my cself-esteem. I feel very depressed now.
Katrine

Kat

There's absolutely no need to apologise ... I wasn't offended in the slightest. Everyone is entirely entitled to their own opinion about everything - who is to say who is right and who is wrong!

I realise from your recent postings that you have had to suffer things that no-one should ever be forced to suffer, and which leave scars much greater than anything purely physical. I know it doesn't count for much, but all I can offer is my sympathy and compassion and a measily virtual ...

As for how to improve yourself confidence, I could not even begin to say. You just have to be yourself - as clichéd as that sounds. Sure you can never be someone else, but you can try and be someone else in order to make people see you in a different light, but when it comes to the crunch, you'll know that you're only wearing a mask. Besides, if people can't like you for the person you are, are they themselves worth putting the effort into getting to know. The heart is, as i'm sure you're aware, a fragile thing that shouldn't be played with carelessly. Who am I to tell you how to live your life - hell, I'm only 26 ...

I can empathise with you being shy - we all are at times, just some more than others. I used to be terrible until I took the approach that was "I am me, and if you don't like it, fine. I'm not changing for anyone."

As I've said, I'm no expert, but then again who is ... the world revolves because we aren't all the same - you being different from me, being different from everyone else is what gives the place it's colour.

Don't know if this answers any of your questions - it all came out kind of jumbled!

Thank you for the kind and comforting advice you have given to me Ekki. Yes, and thank you for the comforting cuddles. The mental scars are now starting slowly heal and I now have a date next week, so only things can get better.

Katrine

That's good news ... I have to say that I've always found the secret to getting dates is to not look in the first place! I think both genders are equally good at spotting desperation! You've just got to take life as it comes!!

Hope date goes well.

Ekki

Thanks