h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

your Gradientlings sound lovely. And that story made me and and at the same time.

I'm with RF when he said - what parents? And I've already told Sho elsewhere that I wished she'd been my mum! I love reading all her Gruesome Twosome stories and I really think they are a couple of the luckiest kids ever.

And now I find myself wishing that Gradient had been my dad!

Keep up the good work, guys.


az

*stands by Azahar to put herself up for adoption too*

Gradient, I loved your story. I was an *awful* teen and now that I have a daughter, I can *almost* understand how I ended up in boarding school at 7 Sho, you are a 'hands on' mum which is what I also aspire to be. I believe it is the interaction and attention that keeps kids sane and happy in the long run. I have very few childhood memories and I suspect it is because I had little opportunity to reinforce events. I have no doubt that noone could parent your lovely girls an iota as well as you.

for the great mummy

W

well, I have good memories of my mum's hands-on parenting, and my dad's (when the Army let him be around). What I don't have are too many memories of doing much with my brother, which i deeply regret - now I have discovered what a truly guy he is.

Today, for dinner, we're having Gruesom #1s's special request: "asparagus, mummy, with melted butter and just a little black pepper. You can have green if you want, but I want white, it tastes better"

I must admit that I don't actally like small children. But once mine got to school age they became a whole lot more interesting. I am having an awful lot of fun introducing them to things I like (music, books, films, some hobbies, etc) and I am well aware that the window of being able to enjoy this is getting ever smaller.

Az, after they turn into Teenage Mutant Gruesomes, I'll throw them out and come & live with you!

<>

That is soooo funny because small children always intimidate the heck out of me. Glad to hear I'm not alone.

<<Az, after they turn into Teenage Mutant Gruesomes, I'll throw them out and come & live with you!>>

It's a deal. Or else send them to live with me for awhile.

I had a friend in Toronto send me her total *bitch-from-hell* teenage daughter to spend a month with me - for two summers in a row. And bitch child was always the politest thing ever with me. It might have had something to do with me telling her that I totally loved her to death but if she thought she was going to get away with *any shit* while I was responsible for her then she'd better think again.

I remember a couple of times she tried out the spoilt whiny thing and also the rebel kid shit and I just said - 'hey, are you talking to ME? If so, I suggest you rethink that and come back with something different to say'.

My friend was all agog and said to me afterwards - 'How did you ever get A to behave so well???' - and I said it was easy. I wasn't her mother. Also, I can be pretty scary if I have to be. But the truth was that I totally love this kid and she knew it. The difference was she also knew this love wasn't unconditional, that she had to do her part too. And hey, years later she still sends me emails. So I guess I didn't get it totally wrong.

az

*packs the Gruesomes' bags*



I send them to my parents for 2 weeks in the summer, where my entire extended family 'ooh' and 'ahh' over how lovely and polite and helpful they are. Pod Children.

Having said that, my niece came to stay with us, and it was the same. She was 14 and absolutely a joy to have around. And part of that is the "not being with mummy" effect - or as you put it so well, the knowledge that any love (and respect) coming to them during that time has to be earned.

As for babies and small children - I just don't understand them, and cannot relate to them at all. I treat them like small people: some react well to that,but often they don't. I'm even beginning to ejoy gruesome birthday parties because the kids actuall interact and give feedback on what they like, don't like and so on. In fact, I've almost decided that I prefer 9 year olds to adults.

I went to a 'baby coming out party' a few years ago - big society event in Jerez, showing off the grandchild. Posh grandparents, doncha know. Anyhow, I was kind of nervous and said to my then boyfriend - 'gaaa, what if they ask me to hold the baby???' - and he said - 'no problem, just pretend it's a cat'.

Which was actually very good advice. I was able to pick up the wee girl just like she was a cat, and she seemed to enjoy it.

I'm still not sure what's worse for me. Little tiny babies or small children who know how to speak. With the latter I know I always get it wrong (what the flick to you say to the little flickers???) and they always know it and look at me like I'm pathetic.

az

I won't share my emotions around my babies. Little aliens, they were! I adore them now but struggled when they couldn't tell me what they wanted and just cried. I often ended up crying along for the company Now it is great to discuss and dispute (and argue) with them, especially No 1 who's into his teens in a big way. I love that they respond to reason and that I can see where they are coming from. Not to say that voices aren't raised on a regular basis in this household... but it is interactive, which I can work with. I never did master the baby talk thing. It still drives me bonkers now

I am not as peculiar as I thought after all

oh my, I remember for the first three years of #1's life (the duration of my maternity leave) which coincided with the first 17 months of #2's life - I spent the entire time doubting that I would ever get the hang of it.

I never did get the hang of babies, they turned into toddlers by the time I'd truly grasped how to do anything apart from breastfeed (at which, I have to say, I excelled)

I'm still petrified at the idea of teenagers, but for now, I'm just about hanging on for the white-knuckled ride!

Az - I hadn't held, dressed, fed,changed, bathed or anything else you'd care to mention, a baby until #1 popped out. The nurses in the maternity ward (where there were usually a maximum of 10 or 12 babies (what can I say: it's a tiny town!) used to come in for the entertainment value when they knew I was dressing #1!

The bit I was best at was the 3 to 5 ish stage. You couldn't keep me out of the playgroup - I loved every minute. Children of that age are so enthusiastic and enthralled by everything. and if they get stroppy you just pick them up and tuck them under an arm

But teenagers - Gaaaaaaaah! s

My daughters have turned into wonderful young women, so I must have done something right-ish at some stage - and my last teenager only has about 8 weeks of teenage left. Perhaps there's some hope there too.

3-5? oh no I absolutely HATED that part!

At that age, mine had fits in shopping centers when I said 'No' to things they wanted me to buy for them

oh yes
mine too (well, #2 did)

in fact she regularly got to the checkout,demanded sweets (and I ALWAYS said no - I hate our supermarket for not removing sweets from the check-out) and then have a monster tantrum.

Usually it would involve her lying down in front of my trolley
and always involved me totally ignoring her, and going round her leaving her there

oh and HOW often did people feel it necessary to loudly behind my back, or even to my face, go on about how mean I was?

Several times I offered that they could take her home...

Fortunately, I only had that with #1. When I managed to do the shopping without him once he was in kindergarden, the whole staff of the shop was relieved

oh my

It's much better now - i can jiust give him money and he does the shopping alone

Unfortunatly Teenage Daughters From Hell start younger, mine's 12 this year and already storming up the stairs, slamming doors, yelling "I HATE YOU". If she's like this now what's she going to be like at 14 She wasn't too bad at the terrible two's stage and after a few stern tellings off and no treats for several days she learned pretty quickly that tantrums didn't work.

but then again... my 7 year old does that too...

You just wait, Sho. There's a German saying: small children -small worries; big children -big worries - and it's true