h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi, it's FABT dropping in with a quick question.......

did they ever explain that dead catapillar on tealcs face? was watching sunday night and rather than being worried about the fate of the funnyyelloweyedcan'tactfortoffeepeople I was more concerned with tealcs facial hair.

FABT

No they never explained it. I'm thinking of writing a fic where it marches off in disgust at not getting a mention in the opening credits...

My theory is this:

The caterpillar grew while SG-1 were away from Earth. Since it seems to be a result of not shaving, it is plainly the _only_ facial hair that Teal'c can grow. Sam and Jack were too polite to mention to Teal'c how silly it looked, figuring he'd shave it off when they got home, so no harm no foul.

But! After years feeling embarrassed about his inability to grow a full and manly beard like his mentor Bra'tac's, Teal'c took this as a sign that among the Tau'ri, his beard was pretty respectable, especially being surrounded by clea-shaven military types the whole time.

This sad state of affairs continued, because no-one else on the base wanted to risk offending the large Jaffa by saying: "Hey Teal'c; you look like a caterpillar just crawled onto your face and died there". I mean; would you?

Finally, Daniel drew the short straw and told him, and he shaved it off.


And speaking of fanfics, I've been gearing up to write something based around the Antarctic Gate site, and what do I find? Season 6 has an episode set around the Antarctic Gate site. I intend to have stuff about Ultima Thule - the Antarctic Atlantis - and what do I find? They seem to be having Antarctic Atlantis too.

Pre-emptive copycats. I'd sure, if only they hadn't thought of it first and didn't own the properties.

But I still have something they don't. Something that will make my fic cooler than any real episode.

In fact. Several somethings.

Flashbacks.

Absurd wartime heroics.

And of course Antarctic Space Nazis.

I have no doubt that your trusty (even if shameless slasher) beta reader will enjoy that one....

Regarding Teal'c's pet caterpillar (oh, I don't recall Master Blu'tac having a beard at all, pockmarks but no beard)...

When they got back from wherever it was... (Thor's crashing ship, at the end of Small Victories) Daniel did raise his ever mobile eyebrows (different species of catterpillar perhaps?) at Jack when he saw it, but Jack told him not to mention it. And that was it. More's the pity, because it would have made a nice moment of comic relief when it had gone again.

I think that Teal'c, bored of living under a mountain all alone, brought it back to keep as a pet, and that Jack and Sam had some sympathy with him. Eventually, of course, it turned into a moth or butterfly, but I have no idea where it went. Maybe it flew out of an air vent?

I aim to please.

Any idea when your internet connection will be back to full health, by the way?

Bra'tac has a moustache and chin beard. Not exactly a goatee, but certainly one of those fairly high-maintenance beards that requires a fair amount of shaving at the sides. He's not exactly Santa Claus, but compared to the caterpillar, it's pretty full and manly.

oh heck, I'll have to watch my stargate tapes again, I never noticed that Bra'tac has facial fungus!

The internet thing will be back up as soon as Deutsche Post/Deutsche Telekom pull their fingers out and deliver my new ISDN jobby. And for the price it had better be naquadah enhanced.

I'll send you an e-mail to let you know.... oh, does this mean you have stuff for me to read?

I watched a bit of Deadman Switch last night. Brilliant, I really really would like to see Aris Bosh back again.

I've not seen Deadman Switch, although I know the plot.

Heh. See, I hadn't got the pun until just now. I hadn't really noticed that there was no 's in the title.

As for stuff to read, I've almost finished part three of the big epic. I say epic; all told it'll probably come in at about 90,000 words. Parts 1 and 2 I already sent, but I think that was sometime between your ISDN exploding and me finding out about it, so they're probably in limbo somewhere.

After that there's King Solomon's Naquadah Mines, although that might go on hiatus until after Raiders of the Lost Gate (Flashbacks, ancestral ubers and Antarctic Space Nazis), and maybe Caduceus, which is going to be my post-Meridian fic.

Not that I've seen Meridian yet of course.

And still I keep having ideas.

well, it's only actually been less than 2 weeks since the big ISDN fry up, so they should still be there. (my phone bill is going to be nice and small, which is nice)

Meridian was good, but Enemies was better. Just wait until you get an eyeful of that!

If they do turn out to have been eaten by the Groo, let me know and I'll resend them.

I've read the plots for most of S5. For some reason, I'm not so worried about SG-1 spoilers as I am about Buffy. Maybe just because I write the fic, so I like to be as sure as possible that I haven't already been Jossed.

Hi guys, glad to know I didn't miss the facial fungus explanation. Far as I know they came back through the gate, one of the team geuestured at it and said long story, and we heard no more.

Oh, and new computer this end so please forgive any wierdities that might come your way.

'cept the spelling of course.....that's just part of the package.

FABT

It's odd for them to let something lie like that. They're usually pretty good at covering their bases. Nine times out of ten, when you're starting to wonder: 'but hang on; didn't they say...?', someone ups and says: 'but hang on; didn't we say...?'

Now, movie to series continuity is less precise. I was watching teh film last night - they use the 'Mastadge Drag' music on the TV trailers for Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron, and I just felt the urge to watch it - and I couldn't help noticing a few changes.

Aside from the total change in Ra's nature, the fact that in the film he seems to have built the Stargate (okay; I can buy that as propaganda) and the fact that O'Neill's son's name changes from Tyler to Charlie, there's also the fact that in SG-1, Daniel saw his parents killed when he was 8, but in the film there's a picture of baby Daniel with his _foster_ parents. I think Gateworld assumes that then the Jacksons were his fosters, but given that he's pretty emphatic about it in the film, you'd think he might mention this to Sam when they're watching them get squished over and over again.

Also - and this I noticed only because I wasn't quite looking at the screen when it happened - the sound effect which the series uses for the Gate closing is _not_ the same as the one in the film. Instead, the closing Gate makes the noise used in the film for the Death Gliders launching out of Ra's pyramid.

That's getting into the realms of.... you're watching too much tv!

One of the possible explanations put forward for the Daniel's parents/foster parents thing, is that in the film, possibly the baby in the picture isn't Daniel, but another child. Perhaps he took the photo? Very very shakey, but plausible if you stretch a point.

The thing with O'Neill's son bugs me greatly, but we have to live with it.

Then there is the spelling of O'Neil(l)'s name. That is really annoying, but on occasion (I think in S5, but possibly earlier?) the series O'Neill says "that's O'Neill with two Ls, there is another O'Neil with one L but he has no sense of humour"

As for the whole who built the stargates, and the fact that Ra doesn't really appear to have a symbiote (not to mention his "jaffa") and you could go crazy examining it.

Which is why I don't!

Have you seen Spirits? I wanted to take the gruesomes but it is restricted to age 6 and above here. But then #2 would only spend the whole film shouting "that's the Stargate music" so at least I'm spared the embarassment of that.

The Stargate music is only on the TV trailers for Spirit. The film itself has a score by Hans Zimmer, who isn't bad, but in my estimation is no David Arnold. I've not seen the film, and don't really intend to.

I'm not a huge fan of the anthropsychic (which is a word I made up for things where animals think like people, but look like regular animals; there's probably a real word for it as well) animal flick. Anthropomorphic I can deal with, since the animals are distanced from reality in form, but anthropsychic weirds me out, and however good the film is I can't really enjoy it for the cognitive dissonance.

I think the two-Ls/one-L thing is in Secrets, or possibly 1969.

My theory is that the series was put together without actual reference to the film itself, just someone's memories of it (hence, for example, Sha're/Sha'uri). Or it was an alternate universe.

Speaking of AUs, there's a fic on Heliopolis called Hash Realities. Really good; if you haven't, you should definitely take a look.

Ra in the movie is this weird toothy-thing that tries to phase out through his skin at the end, and it is weird that his Jaffa are pouchless, but clearly still have all that pesky Jaffa strength. Maybe the Horus Guards keep their prim'ta somewhere else? Like in a back-pouch? Or the ones who were with Ra were actually his sub-Lords, not Jaffa at all.

And if Anubis was this big scary exiled System Lord, how come he's also Ra's chief leg-breaker?

Actually, I have a theory, but I don't want to bore you, so I'll only explain it if you want me to.

Oh. And as for the closing sound. As I say, I only noticed because I was looking away from the TV as the fighters launched, and I thought: "I know that sound!"

Obviously, that was supposed to say 'Harsh Realities'.

Hash Realities would be a different fic; possibly with more potatoes.

...or dope. Or dope and potatoes.

Oh yes, btw, I'm back online at home. Phew.

I prefer to think of the film as being a bit of an AU stargate. But since the O'Neil(l)'s are so different, it's almost like a different thing altogether.

Normally I wouldn't want to see spirits. But the gruesomes are suckers for anything with talking animals.

Yay internet access!

Actually, at the end of the film, you do get to see a glimpse that O'Neil might become the O'Neill we all know and love. He's a bit more smiley and happy, and tells Jackson he thinks he's going to be okay. So I can see that transition happening. Just.

Ah. Kid, huh. Who'd have 'em?

Um. Well; you obviously. Never mind; bad example.

I'll send the gruesomes over to you for the weekend, honestly you'll love them. They're happy to be plonked in front of (Daniel heavy) Stargate for an hour or so. And then spend the next few hours asking deep probing questions about the show.

Like:
- why did Daniel not want Teal'c to walk through him in Crystal Skull
- why is the skull pink
- Apophis is naughty. Will his mummy tell him off?
- Why is that Tok'ra lady undressed? She'll get cold.

I've only seen the film once, with half an eye at that (I was ironing, please don't tell anyone) I think I'll have to give it another go.

I'm actually kind of okay with other people's children, mostly because at the end of the day they go back to their parents. And I could probably field most of the questions, although possibly with greater candour than you might like. I always try to treat children like small adults, at least once they've mastered the basics of chewing and consonants.

The film is worth another look, although the bit at the end where all the Abydonian kids salute is still cringeworthy.

I think there's a new version of the DVD out now in region 1, with a whole bunch of extras (the one I've got just has a funky box, a commentary, largely bad mouthing SG-1 and a show reel). If they transfer the new one to region 2 I may have to buy it again.

Oh I deffo want the region 1 DVD... pity I haven't got anything to play it on! (spill the beans: what do they say about SG-1?)

The gruesomes are perfect kids as far as everyone else is concerned. Except their father. I think the gruesome factor works in correlation with (to?) their distance from their biological parents. And you have to factor in how close their birthdays/Christms are/is.

I haven't watched the commentary all through, but they were being pretty adamant about their not having anything to do with the TV Series. I know also that they're pitching to MGM to do Stargate 2 as a direct sequel to the first film, with Russell and Spader in the leads.

I think most kids become more perfect the less you have to deal with them. It's like everything else in life: someone has to do all the hard work, and everyone else shrugs and goes: Well, surely that's easy; look how well it works.

Beneath the Surface today in C4, and I for one was glad to see the back of the caterpillar; and the mysterious lapse of judgement that was the Sam Carter mop-top.