Rock critic? me? well der!

I used to be a rock critic of sorts. I say "of sorts" because any real rockcritic would snort derisively at my so-called rock criticism - and, of course, they often did! It wasn't until later that I realized that rock critics become rock critics just to have an excuse to snort derisively. I know that was my reason.

Back in 1981, the editor of a free newspaper where I did a little editing and paste-ups, gave me my own column, which was supposed to be about rock 'n' roll, but rarely was, because my 1962 Dodge Dart would usually break down on the way to the nightclub, and instead of reviewing a gig by Grumpy's Wooden Leg, The Yodelinos, or Mule Nostril, I'd write about what it was like to change a tyre at midnight while dodging beer cans being flung at my head by troubled but carefree teenagers.

The newspaper editor kept complaining that there wasn't enough rock 'n' roll in my rock 'n' roll column, and I could do nothing but hang my head in shame. I had to admit, the editor was right - there wasn't much rock 'n' roll in my column, so I created ficional bands that played in nonexistent clubs and gave fake reviews to fabricated records.

This troubled but carefree life went on for weeks and weeks, until I was fired!

I still enjoy spashing criticism about rock 'n' roll, so if you see me gabbing on about rock 'n' roll, just tell me to shut up or something...

I'll see if I can find some of my old reviews and will put the into a guide entry.

WARNING::: I've got a pencil and I know how to use it!!! Just put the pointy bit on to some paper and move your hand and it draws!smiley - silly

Bye for now, come back soon won't you?smiley - smiley

Your pal,


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Hello and Welcome Hippa... Feb 4, 2005


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