h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Speaking as the Keeper of unnecessary beards, I cannot help but feel there is some common ground here. Perhaps you repesent the light, fluffy side of beards while I dwell in the danker corners of carnivirous facial hair.

the hair under my jurisdiction is entirely necessary: sideburns, goatees and fu manchus. arguably more important than food and certaINLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN OXYGEN. I ASSUME YOU LOOK AFTER MATHEMATICIANS BEARDS AND ROLEPLAYERS BEARDS?

and i accidentally typed the caps button. so i wasnt shouting, im just too lazy to switchback

I kind of imagined that someone had started drilling outside your window. Some would argue that facial hair is never necessary, but then we would have to detroy them.

Hey, you knocking role-players' beards? Do ya want some? Do ya want some? Do ya? Come to think of it, you knocking mathematicians' beards?

i did read your page, you know nothing wrong with roleplayers - i quite like it myself. but the beards can go. mathematicians...no comment theres one sitting write next to me, and tho his dead arms are lame, he is persistent in his beatings.

how can a beard wearer such as yourself argue that beards are unnecessary

I've been indoctrinated. The power of suggestion; I've been told it's unnecessary so many times I almost believe it myself.
Besides, I think recognising my face fungus' short-comings is a sure way to promote longer, more lustrous growth. And soon it will take over the world.

facial hair is unnecessary under only the most extreme of circumstances...when your in a boyband, a gay pin up, or a woman

Perhaps we should jump members of boybands when they least expect it and glue beards onto them. And Anne Widdecome.

what an excellent idea! do let's glue ann widdecombe to the faces of boybands!

I'd like to see them make pre-pubescent girls gush with hormones with her glued to their top lip.

Why do people always egg and flour politicians? Boybands would be a much better target.