h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Walk? What does that mean? Is that not some form of excercise? I have a mangled leg and you want me to excercise? Not a hope, boy, I've done a 9 hour day so far, with at least another couple to go and I aint walking nowhere!

Unless you got a really good parking space where we can leave the charabanc for 2 weeks. Did you notice the works on the other side of the road? Bleeding typical!

Some good news though. Ilda has recovered enough from her sickness, after a Dr appt, to go shopping and pop in to the office to show off her new purchases! I grabbed her and am now the proud possessor of more lovely Euros! So we have loads of cash, but nowt in bank!

The Charabanc is in the ideal place, so it'd be best if it stayed there.

I'll carry you if I have too! Now up to my neck in defrosted freezers, flooded floors and general chaos. Let me know when you are ready, sweetie pie!

Right I've got it all worked out. What we need is three weddings - one in Gib, one here, and one in Cyprus. That should cover all the bases then!

Text everyone and tell them the good news - they can come to anyone of them or all three if they like a good pish up!

I am ecstatically happy now we've got a firm date booked.

I love you so very, very much!

3 weddings!!!! How much cake is that???? I'm gonna be sick! I tell you, I will be!

Ilda just gave me a brochure for a place she was at a wedding at on Saturday. They are all raving about it and how great the food is!! Looks nice enough but a bit too formal and it looks like it costs serious mega-bucks!!!!

Mega-bucks? We want cheap - cheap and cheerful. And then we want a discount!

How about that we go looking at a few venues tomorrow?

Am I marrying a cheapskate???

I'll bring this brochure home, it's all fancy swags and them 'orrible covered chairs that you love so much!!!!

Oh, and it's right next to Algarve Shopping, just behind our new house, which is a prime location if ever I saw one!

Nice!

So, what you are telling me is that I won't like it and to add insult to injury it will cost a fortune...

What time you coming home Honey Bee? I'm all excited!

It does have peacocks though....... And fountains!

If you want a swift look, its on www.sobanquetes.com

I should be home in the next hour. Then we go wine shopping, unless you wanna run and get me some Prancers somewhere just now!

We'll go when you've done - send me a text and we'll meet outside.

If we to to Vilamoura, the Prancers is dead cheapo. Best we do that - looks like I'll have to start saving my pennies for all this wedding malarky!

If we go to Vilamoura, it will cost 20 bleeding Euros in petrol to save 20 cents on some wine!!!

Ah, but I don't pay for the Petrol!

My ass is shaped like a car seat so if we went to Vilamoura, you're driving the charabanc and you do have to pay for diesel!!

Fair point, well made...

Shall we just wander over to AliSuper then?

They have no Prancers!!!!

But lobster juice will do as long as we have Sprite!!!

My sleepy boy has gone to bed and is just too cute when he is all snuggly with a sheep and a chicken!!!

Just wanted to say that I love you loads and loads and I always will!

You grinning for any reason in particular or just cos your brain is addled?

I'm just a happy, cheerful chappy, that's all.

She cut off too much hair and severed your brain stem, didn't she? You are now officially brain dead!

Can I sue her or are you not any different to before?