Journal Entries
ComsoNutz
Posted May 14, 2000
28-May-00
001.17 N 103.50 E
And so it is...
The debate on the structure of our trusty old universe, first ignited when science logically deduced that everything came out of nothing from the event of cosmic proportions - the big bang.... no! no! no!... it should be THE Big Bang (TBB), has arrived at some outcome, well at least for now.
The winning side: The Flatties, the ones advocating that the universe is boringly flat.
And the losers: The Curvies, the advocates of the closed and open structures. [Uh-uh, I'm afraid that the 2 close/open theories in cosmology do not translate directly to the political conceptual dimension of the conservatives Vs. the radicals].
The incriminating pieces of evidence - pictures taken by a telescope on board a balloon hovering over the Antarctic in the project BOOMERANG (Balloon Observations of Millimetric Extragalactic Radiation and Geophysics). The images were then examined by a team of cosmologist and viola!, yup... they then pronounced the universe F-L-A-T. Details at: http://spacescience.com/headlines/y2000/ast27apr_1.htm
Although it has been highly speculated that this wasn't the case. The truth: the team of hedonistic cosmologists were indeed goofing around with a boomerang with a bunch of yet another stubbornly south-pole-bound explorers. A tragic glitch in Newton's Laws of Motion resulted in the collision of 2 bodies: the accelerating boomerang and the stationary forehead of an unsuspecting cosmologist. Thereafter, the Laws sought to reassert themselves with the strict application of cause and effect. The effects and aftermath were: a broken cheap boomerang, a possible million-dollar lawsuit against the makers of the boomerang and an unconscious cosmologist who then transcended beyond the linearity of space-time during his comatose state, travelled to the beginning of time, caught a glimpse of the structure of the infant universe and noted that it was flat. There.
So, er... what does this cosmic revelation mean? Should Microsoft be split up? Would clones have a longer or shorter life span? Would the Flatties be incorporated, any chance of an IPO? Should i sell my technology stocks? Will the fares for buses and trains go up? Is there a god?
It is believed that Stephen Hawking is currently working to frame these questions into relevant equations. The solutions would be published in his next best-seller.
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