h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Brad,

Yes I am fine thanks - and glad to hear that you are too.
I don't like this time of year though - the dark nights are coming and the days are grey here at present, grey and damp which does not do much to lift the spirits. I much prefer the cold, crisp, blue sky days that we sometimes get in England. When, although it is cold, you can wrap up well and enjoy the winter sunshine.

Yesterday it was grey and wet with it and I had, again, lost my umbrella. After searching the house and car (and Village Hall, where we did a Jumble Sale on Saturday) to no avail, I had to go to the supermarket for shopping (getting soaked in the process) and buy another umbrella along with the groceries! I am taking bets now on how long it will be before I lose this one!

Incidentally - how big is a bussel basket. I haven't heard of this type of basket. Would it be the thing that women used to create a bussel? in which case that would be pretty big. So no wonder you fear for your toes.

Off now to clean the house

Best wishes
Carole

I've had the same problem with my rain slicker. Living only a quick ten minute jaunt from work is handy but trying to find my rain coat at 5:45am while still half asleep never works. And you'd think that maybe, just maybe, I'd remedy the situation but sadly it slips my mind...till the next time it's raining

I'm not a big fan of fall myself. The colors are nice for the week or so that they last but that's poor recompence for the grey, cold and dreary days to follow. I do enjoy winter hikes though, especially by moonlight on clear, cloudless nights when the moon is full. The woods take on a still presence and the snow relects the light so as to create an almost magical glow, the world seeming to stand still. And there's the bonus of knowing the weather and dressing accordingly before leaving, always a plus.

I think I spelled bussel but meant bushel. To put it in metric terms it is about a full meter across though the kilo bit is beyond me so we'll say upwards of a hundred pounds in weight. That's a lot of turtle and they have jaws stong enough to take a hand or foot off clean with one bite. And they will not release that grip, even if you lop off their head according to the folks who catch them to make soup though I could never do such a thing myself or eeven eat the soup for that matter.

I must admit ignorance as to the size of a ladies bussel though. Is it anything like those old timey hoop skirt things you see in movies? Now THAT would be one mighty large shell back! I do believe they existed in that size during prehistoric times though or so say the experts.

Now make sure you keep warm after the dousing you took. Curl up with a nice hot cup of , or and relax. I've had a cold/flu all week and it's no fun at all.

Brad

Hello Brad,

Wow I had no idea that such big turtles existed in the lakes of America - they sound pretty awesome; almost as bad as your alligators.

The bussel (though I think it is spelled bustle) is that fashion where the floor length skirt was quite slim but the cage was placed over the lady's bottom - thus creating a huge bottom - which I think the Edwardians thought was sexy. If you have seen the film My Fair Lady - that is the era we are talking about. Huge bottoms and huge hats.

And I guess a bushel basket probably held a bushel of something; a bushel being an old measurement of weight. Though a bushel of feathers would not measure the same as a bushel of lead would it! So maybe that is that theory out the window.

Your woodland hikes in the moonlight sound very romantic. Do you get a lot of snow there? We have had very little here in the last few years, although this year they are promising us a hard winter.

Bye now, speak soon
Carole

Big wire butts? No thank you! There are some fashion statements that we need never fear returning and thankfully this is one of them.

Over here a bushel basket is about the same size as your average large, round laundry basket. Traditionally they're made of thin wooden lathe and bound with wire, but sadly it's been years since I've seen a real one. Like paper grocery sacks they are almost extinct, replaced by handier and much less enviromentally friendly plastic ones

We used to get a tremendous amount of snow but there's been a real lack of snow during the last decade. Global warming, low rainfall, bad karma or laziness on the part of Old Man Winter, the answers are as ever a mystery.

And don't start believing the weatherman for accurate advice, they almost always get it wrong. Better to ask a farmer, the older the better. Yup, find your self an 85 year old farmer with acking joints but still able to out work an 18 year old and you'll have predictions that you could make book on

Yours as always
Brad

Wow that is uncanny. We actually live next door to an 84 (only one year out and he will be 85 in March) farmer who is always saying that the weathermen are rubbish. He is getting in extra logs this year though because, for once, he agrees that is it going to be cold. In the 21st century the only way he heats his house is by burning logs. Isn't that amazing. Well possibly not in Papua New Guinea or central Africa, but it is in England.

Going back to bustles - I wonder how they sat down!

Have a nice day
Carole

In these parts there are still folks who heat exclusively with wood and others who use it as a supplimental source. For many years my family heated or hose with nothing but wood, and a very large house it was.

It's a lot of work though, cutting up the timber, splitting it, curing for 2 years to ensure maximum burn potential, stacking and even the stoking. I think it is more an act of stubborn refusal to pay exorbant gas and oil prices that is at the root of it all, though I happily pay for natural gas to do my heating and am quite happy to do it.

And now back to those bustles. I can see how the wire is made to work in an accordian fashion, going up and down with relitive ease. What perplexes me is that there's no way to shorten the rear depth, so nessecitating the use of stools and backless chairs for seating purposes. Oh I suppose one could perch on the edge but that would get tiresome after a point, all tippy as it is. Let's just be thankful that modern fashion is so much more fashionable

So, are you now officially closed to the B&B crowd for the season?

Till later
Brad

Dear Brad,

We actually stay open all year round at our B & B but there are never many people around from October 'til March. And, at the moment we are torn as to whether to close after next Saturday - when our last booked people are here - or carry on until the end of April next year. For this is to be our last full season. We have done it now for 13 years and have had enough really. Your home is never your owns with strangers (albeit very nice people on the whole) trouping in and out at all hours. You can't loll around in dressing gown and slippers after your bath or lie in front of the telly with your feet on the coffee table. You always have to be suitably attired and ready to smile and chat to them.

The main reason for our decision is that Jim (husband) reaches the age next May when the government pay his State pension which - we hope - will do away with the need to earn extra money by taking paying guests. And, as I said earlier, we have done it for long enough now.

So it is possible that I might also retire now!! Jim retired from paid employment 15 years ago. Me too but then I became self employed at the B & B. If I wasn't so flipping lazy I might write that novel! Though I think it is too late - I think my brain retired 15 years ago even if I didn't. No that can't be quite true because I did write a new story last year which was published this year in The Lady Magazine.

Well - off now, speak soon
Carole

My family owned a hotel for well over 40 years and I know all to well how catering to guests can get to a point where you want nothing but the peace and quiet of a 'normal' existance and the privacy part, well there just isn't really a price you can put on that.

To be able to rise at the hour of your choosing and fix whatever suits your fancy on any particular day, lounging about in fuzzy slipers and a housecoat with a nice cup of for company. Heaven, something which goes beyond priceless, I'd retire in a minute given the same circumstances.

And you could write that novel, or simply sit in the sun and read someone elses. The choices are endless

Here's to relaxing
Brad

Yep - I think you have made my decision for me!

Nope-Just affirming a decision you'd already made for yourself. That it's the right one is not even in the equation, now all that remains is to set an official date, mark the calendar and start counting the days

Sorry I havent replied - busy weekend - Trafalgar party at a neighbours house on Friday. It was great fun - lovely food, curries and delicious desserts - a big bonfire and fireworks into the night.

Then Saturday our little garden club had to decorate the Village Hall ready for Sunday's Harvest Festival Cream Tea after the church service.

And today I am getting ready for my daughter (Lellypompom) to arrive with her two daughters - it is half term here so the children have a week's holiday from school. So it's been all go as they say.

Hope you are well
Carole

No worries Carole, I've been absent myself for a week. It certainly sounds as if you've had a far better time than I though, what with bonfires and parties galore.

My son is 14 now, too old for the stuff that the community does for the younger children and yet not old enough to enjoy what us "old folks" like to do for fun. Soon enough I suppose, though I miss him being little at times like this.

Still, his being older is making us far better friends and that is something which will last a lifetime. Last evening he even joined me for a starlight hike and truely enjoyed it as well, so his tastes are indeed maturing. Now if I can only get him to enjoy some music that doesn't involve grown men screaming themselves hoarse we'll be getting somewhere.

Have fun with Lelly and be sure to spoil the children right proper, it's the unwritten law of grandparenting don't you know .

I'll talk to you later
Brad

And out I pop from behind the pantry door with a resounding BOO

Thank you my friend for understanding, it is most appreciated. I'll drop by as soon as I catch up on my duties, so until then

Brad

Happy New Year Brad - and I do hope it will be.

We are waiting now for Lelly's new arrival - due on 25th January - sure that will make us all happy.

Hello Brad,

Long time since we "spoke" Hope all is well with you now. I have been busy. Lelly had her new baby on 24th January. A little boy, Oliver, who is quite gorgeous and his two big sisters adore him - well we all do. Have spent a lot of time with them and they have been down here a few times. They are all coming next week as the School Easter holidays begin here in England.

I haven't found much time to write. But this year we are giving up doing Bed and Breakfast so once I have spring cleaned the house and given the garden a good "bottoming" (old north of England saying) I may have time to actually do it again. I have some ideas gestating.

Well, hope you are OK
Best wishes Carole

Are you OK Brad? I do hope so

Dearest Carole,

I return once again, dipping a toe in the pool to test the waters only to find that you've been searching for me. To say I'm touched would be an understament, a thank you a meer shadow of my feelings. Not often am I at such a lack for words so I'll just count upon your wisdom to fill in the blanks.

Difficulties at home have stolen both will as well as time, leaving me in no shape to carry on here with either my duties as a Miner nor even conversations with friends. That particular situation has now(hopefully and with fingers crossed) been resolved, and as such I attempt to take up where I left off.

There is a lot of catching up to do and I look forward to it my friend

Brad/Spy

Dear Brad,

I am sooo glad to hear from you.

I was worried as I know you were having troubles. I also know that when you are feeling depressed, the last thing you want to do is talk to people, even if it is just a typed message on the computer. As you know I have been there and I understand. Normally so garrulous, when I am in a fit of depression I can actually think of absolutely nothing to say! Anyway I do hope you have managed to sort things out now - it is nice to have you back.

I hesitate to tell you about my life as everything is going so well at the moment. But maybe it will cheer you. Lelly had a beautiful baby boy in January - Oliver - his two big sisters adore him; so he has three women fussing over him all the time and four when his grandma turns up!

My son, Chris, is arriving from Oz in 2 weeks - and they will be here for 3 weeks. It will be wonderful to see him again. It is nearly 2 years since we were in Sydney. Cant wait to see Katherine either (his daughter). She chats to me on the 'phone, but it is not the same. I am sure we will have fun together. It will be nice to see her with her cousins too. She has such a huge family here in England, Uncles, Aunts, cousins, second and third cousins. All she has there is two great grandparents. Still, enough already! Mustn't get bitter!

Our weather is gorgeous at the moment - hot, sunshiney and fabulous. Patriotic fervour is reaching record heights with the FootballFest about to begin this week. The England flag is flying absolutely everywhere, from shops, garages, cars, houses. Hooray! Mind you I can't stand football, but I shall be able to get out in the garden and away from the television (as long as this weather holds). Failing that I have plenty of other things to occupy my time.

One of which is Lelly's Old English Sheepdog, Eddie. Because Lelly now has more than enough to fill her time. we have adopted Eddie and I am loving it. We had an OES when our children were small and Eddie is like a reincarnation of her (though Eddie has a tail - as docking is frowned upon nowadays). She and I (yes she is a girl despite her masculine name) go wandering up in the fields and woods together - she is great fun.

Well, there is loads more to tell you about Village life, but I must away to carry on "Getting Ready for the Australian Visitors"! I am sprucing up the garden, painting everything that stands still long enough and cleaning the place fit to burst.

Looking forward to hearing from you again soon

Best wishes Carole

I am overjoyed at all the fabulous news! Congratulations are in order and please give a big smacking wet kiss to Oliver for me (not that a Grandmother ever needs an excuse for that )

And having your son and family return for a holiday as well, why good fortune is indeed knocking at your door. Maybe they can smuggle a new tortoise or two in there carryon baggage, a little shelled 'thunder from down under' to cheer you and bring back happy memories each and every day.

I'm not a football fan either unless they start using race cars to play, sort of like polo at speed if you will. Still, it's hard not to feel the huge swell of patriatism at such times and fan or not it is quite magical.

A sheepdog sounds like the perfect companion for all activities. Nothing like a fine canine to make anything a bit more adventursome. My lab Harley gladly goes everywhere with me when I'm out and about, whether it's a hike in the woods or walking by my side as I mow the lawn. He even curls up next to me as I polish my motorcyle, most often using my leg for a pillow. It doesn't speed the task up but how could I deny him.

We've plenty of time for catching up so you just keep to sprucing and painting, you know you won't be satisfied till it would pass a full dress navel inspection. I'm back for the long haul now so no worries. I'll chat more tommorrow then...oh by the way, you missed a spot

Brad

Dear Brad

It is nice to have you back to chat again.

I had forgotten how much fun it is to have a dog around. After ours died in 1991 we didn't have another until now. Really it was the B & B that stopped us. Not everyone likes them and with people in and out all the time we couldn't guarantee that the gates would be closed and we live on a busy road. Several of our neighbours have lost their dogs and cats under cars or lorries.

Eddie is like your Harley, always by my side - almost as if she is attached by a piece of elastic - she is lying beside my chair now as I am typing! Bless her. Chewing something (I hope it is her bone). The other day I could hear her crunching something and though "Aaah, she is chewing her bone" When I got up and went to get breakfast a pair of my sunglasses were in little pieces under my feet!.

Do you have Labradoodles in the States? They are getting popular here and Crufts are about to recognise them as a legitimate breed. They are, as the name suggests, a cross between a Standard Poodle and a Labrador. And they are quite gorgeous. Apparently they are being bred as guide dogs for blind people with dog fur allergies. I am allergic to dogs that shed hair but Eddie doesn't affect me (unless we are brushing her. We met a jet black Labradoodle last week at our local Donkey Sanctuary, Lelly was here for half term with the children and we went to see Tapestry (the donkey we adopted for Charlotte's birthday present last month). Woody, the Labradoodle was with a boy of about 12 or 13. The boy was anxious to show us how clever Woody was (and he was). He sat, shook paws etc. Then the boy said "I have just taught him this trick". He aimed his fingers at Woody, made gun shot noises, and Woody slumped on his side and played dead. Wow! There was a crowd around him laughing and clapping. I remember going to circuses as a child and they always had troupes of trained Poodles so I guess that is where that comes from.

Well, I am having a day off the chores today - Coffee with friends this morning and tea with one friend (who needs cheering up) this afternoon. Back to the garden tomorrow.

Take care, speak soon
Carole