h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi, Carole,

It was good to hear from you again on AR1's thread. You asked if I knew where Spy was, but I am afraid I don't think I have come across that Researcher. I can't help.

I hope your 'little life crisis' is over now! Getting out in the garden is very therapeutic, though I am finding my garden more interesting during the night at the moment, watching the Badgers. The lawn looks a bit of a mess in daylight with all the wildlife tramping all over it but it is worth it for the entertainment.

Take care,

Websailor

Dear Websailor

I remember all your badger watching from last year - was it Spring or Autumn then? I am glad to hear they are back - We have never seen them just have our lawn scraped by them - to tell the truth we don't watch out much - now I have stopped doing B&B I might have more time to look out at night!

My problem is first born son - to be fair he is 40 next month and really left home when he went to University. That was traumatic for us all, even though he only went 30 miles away to London. Then he graduated and went 200 miles away to Chester (more tears and letting go) but we saw him most bank hols and sometimes in between. In 2003 he went with his new wife to Sydney - 12,000 miles is a long way!! Dreadful journey, horrendously expensive and very difficult wife! (And believe me we have tried and tried with her. They have a 2 year old daughter now who is gorgeous (we met her in 2004 when we went to Sydney). They are coming in June for 3 weeks (the snag is, though he wanted to keep a small house in Chester (to keep a foot hold here because he wants to return one day- and she didn't and doesn't!) - they have now spent all their money in England, want a bigger house in Sydney and one reason for the trip is to sell the house in Chester. Final ties with England going. And I must now let go, give up wishing and hoping, and get on with what life I have left.

I am lucky I still have a daughter (Lelly pom pom) only 3-hours drive away. She is a super daughter (great son in law) and three beautiful grandchildren. I have so much more than many people. But it is hard to finally let go of your first born. I will always be his mother - and I wonder how many more times in my life will I ever see him!

But I am getting over it - feeling much better now. At least I can talk to him (he did not die) even if I can't give him a big hug - though I will in June!

Nice to hear from you too again.

Spy used to be Spynxxx - he was having some trouble with his son - and then stopped writing. He was a lovely man I just hope everything is OK with him. Carole

Hi, Carole,

I didn't know you had given up the B & B. If you want to see your Badgers without sitting up all night, buy a movement sensor, the kind that alerts you to cars or visitors coming up your drive. OUrs has saved us hours of staring out in to the night.

I do understand how you feel about your son. I dread the thought of either of mine doing that. We don't travel, for health reasons in both cases so it would be a nightmare. At the moment both are within easy reach, though I don't see much of them! My eldest had one long 7 year relationship with a girl we just could not take to, but she finished it. As yours is married I do sympathise.

It isn't easy being a Mum is it, and you never get to be UNmaternal do you , though some women seem to manage it!

Wishing you for June. I hope you manage to have a lovely time.

Other than that, I hope you are well.

Websailor

Dear Websailor

Yes, we will have a smashing time in June - I have put it behind me now and given myself a good talking to! I am seeing my daughter and her family tomorrow and she will shake me till my silly teeth rattle no doubt! Also the two of us are going to see Neil Morrissey in "Guys and Dolls on Saturday - that will cheer me up.

No it isn't easy - he will always be my first baby and I will always be his mother. He (and she, of course) has a daughter now - and, naturally they adore her, so I suggested he try to imagine (aimed at her really) how he will feel in 17 years or so when she goes off to Uni. When he left for London all four of us stood in our kitchen in Kent blubbing our eyes out! I also suggested he thought back to that time. Just to try to let him know what I am feeling (and her). I hope it works and she will be nicer this time. I am prepared to keep trying with her for as long as it takes - even though Chris is 12,000 away I am very much aware that to fall out with her could mean I lose him and my grand daughter completely. I am quite a wise old woman!! and I saw it happen with some elderly friends of ours - she didn't see her son for 17 years, nor did they ever speak on the 'phone and they all lived in England.

I am fine - my knees are a bit creaky these days (have to see a consultant in May - some calcified material growing on the joint. Nothing that a little keyhole job cannot sort out But apart from that -great.

Hope you and your husband and family are well.

We did B & B for 13 years - enough for anyone. If I had shot someone I would have been out before that!! We enjoyed it to begin with, but the last three years or so have been quite a trial. Lovely now to be free to garden, or go to the beach, or walk in the woods - whatever. East Devon is a beautiful place and I never really saw much of it because I was too busy.

Funnily enough we have a PIR out on our drive (it was for the B & B guests to find their way back at night. And often it does come on - so possibly that might be the badgers. We always think "the wind" or "a cat". Must pop out and have a look next time it happens. It will be easier now it is getting warmer (not much though is it?)

Best wishes and thanks for listening
Carole

Carole,
please let me know if you spot a Badger. I'm afraid you will be hooked if you do!!

I' m glad you are free to enjoy your surroundings more now. I find it is one of the best perks of retirement, and there aren't many unless you are in good health and rich.

Websailor

Dear Websailor,

Well we are not rich (not money-wise anyway). We have lots of friends here in the Village and play quite an active part in the V. Hall and the V. Fete. I play skittles for the Pub and we produce the Village Magazine - but I have done all that as well as running the B & B 'til now.
And we have a smashing family - close and exended ( I guess I am very selfish to want my son here too). My husband is the youngest of 14 children, so we often have relatives and long distance friends to stay or dropping in en route to or from somewhere.
We went to our daughter (Lelly pom pom)s house for the weekend just gone and Lelly and I went out last night to see Guys and Dolls with the dishy Neil Morrissey. It was a fabulous show and having a girlie night out together did us both a lot of good, whilst Grandad and Dad looked after the three children and Eddie (the dog).
I don't remember where you live Webbie, but in Bucks yesterday it was scorchio all day and we all spent the day in Lelly's garden, playing with the children, eating an 'al-fresco' lunch and doing a bit of clearing up and thinking how to improve and re-plant it. Her two daughters want to grow flowers and herbs - so next time I go I am taking chives, mint, thyme, rosemary etc.

Then before we left this morning they practised their cello and flute together and entertained us with an impromptu recital. So far only Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Ooom Pah Pah and Jingle Bells! But watch this space - I told the little one (8 years) that I wanted to hear Elgar's Cello Concerto next time I go (1 month away) and she said "Well I might not know it by then"!!! I could just eat her! (They are quite musical and both sing in separate choirs plus the local church choir). So I consider myself to be very rich indeed. You don't have to be super rich - as long as you have enough (having enough is very important).
Hope that doesn't come over as smug and sychophantic!

I will watch out for badgers in Devon - we only got back this afternoon and it is damp and cold again here. I have been making jam and chutney (clearing out the freezer)in the warm kitchen, ready for the Fete in June.

Best wishes
Carole

Carole, you have such a full and busy life, how on did you every manage to run a B & B

You are right about riches. Family, friends and health are beyond price, and we often don't value them enough until they are gone!

I used to do all the jam, chutney, pickles, home made bread, mincemeat, Xmas puds, Xmas cake, cakes and pies , veg and fruit for the freezer, etc., but since the boys left home I found we were eating too much, so I stopped!!! I miss it, but my hubbie eats too much anyway!!

Our weekend weather has been quite pleasant, nothing spectacular but good enough to get garden jobs done etc. I live in the West Midlands, so we get the bad weather going round us for some reason. I think the city heat keeps it away!

Don't work too hard,

Wesailor

Dear Webbie

Lelly's husband has been working in Dudley for 14-months now and commuting back at weekends. It has been a tremendous strain for them - particularly when the new baby was born in January. Fortunately I was able to be there well in advance of her first contraction, and for some time after little Oliver was born. She also has the two girls. So her life has been manic for a long time now.

Plus they have been unable to sell their house in Bucks. At first they were quite excited and trying to move to Worcestershire (we would probably have gone a bit closer to them because it is a beautiful county (as you will know). But it dragged on and on and now Richard has arranged to be seconded to another factory near Gloucester (on the M4) so he can travel home each night. He is missing Lelly and the kids (especially the little son he has always wanted - they change so fast at that age don't they?)

Off out into the garden now - but I am missing Lelly's dog who I had for 3 weeks 'til last Friday - she was joined to my hip and now I have to talk to the wall!! (Move over Shirley Valentine - make room for me!)

Carole

My son's last but one girlfriend came from Dudley. It must be exhausting travelling all that way. LPP must find it hard with her husband away so much. She must have her hands full.

Sounds as if you need to get a dog of your own, to me I have to make do with Birds and Badgers, Foxes and Squirrels. With my husband's lung disease, a furry pet is not a good idea!!


Websailor