h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know much about you at all, I lurk on Terri's thread but don't post due to a misunderstanding on day one of the present journal, when Terri said she would leave because of something I posted.

So I saw what you posted. I feel for what you said, I understand you don't hate men. Let me describe myself a bit, and you will see where I am coming from.

For many years I have been a survivor of sexual abuse from my father, its taken me many years to come to terms with it and I believe I am at a point of forgiveness and moving on, which I certainly can't improve upon right now.

I have met many other people who have been abused and the bizarre thing is that most of those friendships have ended in pain. I have been told to move on to suit other people etc etc. I believe we can only move on and come to terms with stuff when we are ready to. No matter how many other survivors try to tell us to get over it right now. I have also met some survivors who had lost all compassion for other abuse survivors who were behind them in getting better, this has been in real life as well as h2g2.

I think this is because they are scared of being dragged down or reminded of the dark place they had come from. Personally, I think its a wonderful thing to celebrate being able to move on, but it has to be genuine, not just because some other survivor who is ahead of you tells you to.

I think it is utterly cruel to say to anyone that everyone is responsible for their own actions or what actions are done to them. I was not responsible for what was done to me at age 11. I have accepted that I could have done nothing to get out of that, for anyone to try and tell me I was somehow responsible, is perpetuating the abuse.

I don't know what has happened to you in your life, but I believe we can get better and move on. I also believe that a part of us may forever stay damaged, and it is no-ones right whether abuse survivor or not, to tell us how to behave.

It is not real progress, if it has been forced upon us, it has to come from within.

I would love to hear from you, please email me
[email protected]

Karen, I thought I would add my two cents too, hope Kaz doesn't mind.

You are a valuable part of h2g2, and I hope you will reconsider and stay. If not, won't you email me sometimes. I didn't think you would leave without saying goodbye!

Of course I don't mind JEllen.

I have heard from Karen, I really hope she doesn't mind she saying this here. She says she won't come back to h2g2 as the 'row' compounded something personal she was going through, and would have appreciated the time and space to go through it without someone saying it was all her fault. Never the most helpful advice at the best of times.

Something I can completely sympathise with, especially here.