h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What you described below is what I have felt, but for a boyfriend.

>>>She's in my head again. In my head but agonizingly out of my life. It has been weeks since thoughts of her have been so persistant and painful.
>>>Things that have been said elsewhere make me wonder if I have been clear enough on the point of fact that I do *not* still love her. I could love her again so easily, I'm sure of that. But of course she'd have to let me know her again. Let me be part of her life. I miss her terribly. Miss everything about her. I love the girl I remember...
And I realised today that I *do* still believe there will *never* be anyone else. I think somewhere I'd avoided admitting that to myself for a while or deluded myself otherwise. Or had sucessfully forgotten. I don't know which...
>>>Life is pointless and futile. It is only made bearable by shared love, shared lust and shared consuming passion.

>>>I somehow I have lost what it was that I felt I needed to say... Sorry to have bothered you.

This message was, of course, not intended for me. But I am responding because I am interested to get to know you.

I agree with you that human existence only matters when people are together and share experiences with each other. I agree that sharing love and passion makes life a heaven.

I love my mother and her caring for me makes me feel not alone and loveless.

"I love my mother and her caring for me makes me feel not alone and loveless."

I care about my mother.
But.. Well, she got very ill not long after I broke up with Suz. And it was while she was in hospital that we hugged for the first time in about 12 years.

Wow.

I also did not appreciate my mother for many years until 2 years ago.

I then started to say, "I love you."

I never said those words until 2 years ago. I realized that I didn't show my love for her. Instead I always showed my frustration with her or my temper.

My mom deeply loves me. When I was considered to be autistic when I was a child -- I didn't speak until I was 5 -- my mom was confronted by people's opinions telling her that I should be institutionalized or be put on a drug treatment regime. She is French Canadian and she told them to "F**k" themselves, but she told them eloquently in French.

My mom chose to be a stay-at-home mom because she wanted to see that I would do well. She believed, and still believes, that love can cure. She was and still is right. Look how I express myself now. If she wasn't my mother, I would be a mute. Well, if she wasn't my mother, I wouldn't be in the world at all.

The reason we hadn't hugged wasn't to do with my lack of caring or appreciation. We simply do not have a relationship where either of us can say 'I love you' or express affection through hugs.

My mother worked very hard to support us and her horses, but something wasn't there in the way we related to each other when I developed my own opinions and personality. Eventually it was only frustrations that were expressed between us.

I did mean that you didn't hug because you didn't express your relationship with your mother in that way.



You're mother owns horses? Do you ride?

"You're mother owns horses?"

Yes, although she is too ill to care for them herself now. Her horses and ponies were her happiness.

"Do you ride?"

Not for a long time.