h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With some temporal ineptitude and apologies for this unforgiveable lapse, I understand that a man has made an unusual request of you.
This should be put aside in a place that leaves it visible so that reference to it can be understood. At the same time you should beware of unusual men, unusual requests, and any temptation to make an unusual response to either.
I would like to add the following:

yum!

The request itself wasn't unusual, although the manner of it might have been. Following your suggestion of putting it aside but visible, I've framed it.

Unusual men are my favourite! Must I beware of them all?

It is no great relief to unburden myself of the advice that this gentleman, to whom I understand you refer as 'The Captain', is a known companion of and conspirator with three seagulls.
The seagulls in question are known as Webster, Sybilla, and Boyd, three names which are on their own distinctly unusual, but in the appellation of birds, these seem to have regrettable anthropomorphic qualities mixed in with a rather weak form of double-entendre, paronomasia or other childish wit.
I must unburden further. This 'Captain', of whom you seem so fond, maintains his association with these birds (or 'boids' [see my comment above]) by means of voyaging at sea in a vessel which he maintains ashore somewhere on the marshes of North Kent, where he can be seen, bearded and unkempt during the most inclement weather, tinkering.
My purpose in this unburdening is to apprise you of the exceptionally unusual nature of this man, and to ask you to take some care. What might happen should you take a step beyond what is safe, usual and normal doesn't bear thinking about.
I assure you of my best intentions.
Yours sincerely
He who fills doorways, The Salt Marsh, North Kent.