h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So I guess I'm gonna have to say hi instead.

Hello!

ERm..

I don't know what I should say now...Er......Hello.. Nope hold on I've said that.

Okay, you try now.

~Lisa

Hello.

There that wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

Now who's round is it??

Well,er,... *pats pocket* I kinda ran outta cash

Ohh ok. just this once i'll buy!

What would you like?


Come on. Come on.... i'm waiting. The barmans got aliving to make yer know

heh heh heh...

Are there laws on underage drinking in cyberspace?

Now lets not get into a legal discussion. Can't you see that the barman's tapping his watch? It took me 20 minutes to grab his attention. Why not order a coke?

Okay, that'll be great. And a packet of peanuts while you're at it...

Hmm okay i'll ask the barman.

Well then what would you like? he says he's got:
Dry roasted
Honey roasted
salted
Chocolate covered

i'd go for chocolate but it's your decision. Me i'm going to have a packet of smokey bacon. Not that it will taste of bacon!

come op we need to hurry up i can hear the barman shuffling his feet

Chocolate, thanks. Why would I choose anything else?

at last

Err.... Do you want white or dark chocolate covered peanuts?

Damn. no smokey bacon. Alright then i'll have a mars bar. mmm. make that 3. I'm getting hungary.

White. And raisin-less. Please.

Three mars bars??!?!

I can beat that easy.

Get me four pckets of white-chocolate-coated-raisin-less peanuts.

well yes i can eat more than three mars bars at the same time, as any of my freinds will testify

Unfortuantly, and the barman will agree, marsbars and Guiness don't mix! well not unless you've got a blender.

*produces blender from back pocket magically, like mary poppins*

Go on then.

Great!!

i'll just ask the barman if i can plug it in.

Here's your coke and nuts

do you want a straw whilst i wait for the blender to be plugged in?

No thanks, that would be far too tempting...

I think you'd better explain why a straw is tempting!

Personally i'm gonna need a spoon and it had better have a long handle.

*pulls long-handled spoon from back pocket*

Straws makes it sooo tempting to blow bubbles...

Thats an interesting pair of trousers you've got on! how on earth do you iron them with so many items in your back pocket? Must make sitting down uncomfortable



As if a glass of coke would notice a few more bubbles!

Well basically, I don't iron them. It makes life a whole lot easier!

And how does all that fit in there? Well it's a Discworld sort of philosophy (Sorcery); if you don't let Reason realise that it's impossible then it won't be. Therefore as long as you don't think about it, it'll still work.

Alright then, how about that straw...

Ooook ook

< Starts Blender >

Here's yer straw. I hope a bendy one will surfice?