h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[It looks like ... The End of Time! Except that it's a pagoda instead of a platform. Er, an unassuming old man is standing there, leaning on a staff. His name is Rubicant. A portal opens at the entrance, and Jade steps into the pagoda. Hey, this is a dream, bear with me!]

[Rubicant] Hello, hello!

YK, I've moved, you silly prat!

Jade: Erm, hello....

D'OH! #$%^ing


[Rubicant] I must tell you of a great evil which has begun to approach your world. It is invincible to much of what may be done against it, but there is one thing you may use to overcome it, and that is the power of Trance.

Jade: Trance...? You mean that bad European music that drugged people listen to at raves...?

[Rubicant] [facepalming] No. It's best described ... Well, it's like Limit Breaks. Everyone's Trance has three parts: Aura, Formation, and Eight Skills. Trance Aura is a glow of a specific color that surrounds you while you're in Trance, and your eyes glow the same color. Trance Formation is a temporary metamorphosis that indicates what new skills you can use. (Your clothing doesn't metamorphose.) The Eight Skills are the new abilities you have. In most cases Trance is activated by a tremendous surge of emotion.


Make a list of your Trance Skills, what level they're at (1 - 8) , and what each one does. Don't list them here; you only need, at the moment, to know the first one.

Are they allowed to have goofy names...? That would be coooollll.....

Jade: Ah. So basically I have to use my super-special psychic ability thingies and save the universe...? *raises an eyebrow ans is apparently lost in thought* Am I the only one who's getting a strange sense of deja'vu right now...?

[Rubicant] You aren't alone. In fact, you aren't really the main character, exactly, either.

Jade: Ah really? Well I don't like to be alone anyway, when you're alone there's typically no one to talk to. So who else shall be joining me on this mission... quest... theng?

[Rubicant] You will know some of them, and others will be strangers to you. But do you accept this task?

Jade: Ah, I'm bored. Why the zark not?

[Rubicant] Then .... let us begin!

[There's a bright flash of light .... Then, battle vs. Trance Rubicant. His aura is golden and his Formation is that his thin hair appears glowing and he is much more muscular. Note that in the Battle Dialogue box thingummy, there's the HP/MP meter, the ATB bar, and the Trance Meter, which fills up almost immediately.]

Jade: Oh, we're fighting now? ...All right.

*bright flash of light green light, follwed by a slowly panning (in the direction of up) shot of Jade in what appears to be an elfin getup from somwehere near mirkwood*

Jade: This work?

No. It doesn't affect your clothing or your scenery. For instance, YK's Trance Formation is he gets a Summoner's horn and his hair starts waving at someone it knows in the room.

Then let's assume I was already weraing the Mirkwood Elf costume, and suddenly my eyes are blazing...erm... chartreause. All right?

Works. It's your move. Try out your L1 Trance skill.

They're lile limit breaks, you said? So they can be called anything I jolly well please...? Hmmmm...

Jade: *trance L1, Lunaideiel* *A dazzling light breaks over Jade. She takes an arrow from the quiver at her back and notches it on her bow. The arrow appears to be made of something etheral; it glows and smokes slightly. She lets the arrow fly*

Have I done this correctly...? If I haven't feel free to go about correcting me.

Okay, I guess ... I suppose your weapon-of-choice could be bow & arrow ... We already have swords, staves, lightsabers, katanas, and wands. Or people who use them, anyway. Hmm, I think I'll need to come up with another Ultimate Weapon ...

That works then? Why doncha move? Or can't you yet...? Don't //you// decide what damage this does to your crazy Slartibartfast-ish guy? And yes, Bow and arrows is/are my weapons of choice. Everything else is far too overdone. I hope this isn't too much of a problem.

Just waiting for his ATB-bar to fill.


[The move, of course, is a sure-hit and does a fairly large amount of damage, like any Limit Break. This is why Limit Breaks aren't allowed in the Bob and George Fight Club. But it doesn't defeat him.]

[[Torrent of souls]]

[Trance Rubicant raises his arms and a wave of Dark-elemental energy hits Jade. The battle ends; I don't care where Jade's HP was at this point. Rubicant isn't in Trance anymore. The dialogue continues as if Jade's HP had actually reached zero.]

[Rubicant] There is only one who could defeat me ... I hadn't expected it ...

Jade: You hadn't expected what...? I am confuzzled. If you would but explain, I would be quite greatful.