h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Only if they attack you...

Boo! Spoilsport!
Are we under the cap yet?

I think we should be...

Best we check......take her to periscope depth, if you please......

*pushes some buttons*

*The sub rocks a little*
Uh....do you know what buttons you pressed?

I think so...

*checks a status board*
We seem to have launched an ICBM......

I didn't do that!!

*checks status board again*
According to this....
*a thought occurs, and he hits the board. The light comes back on*
False alarm......make you depth 50 feet.

50 feet, sir!

Up periscope!
*the periscope slides up and there is a dull clunk as it hits something overhead*
Down periscope!
*it slides back down again*
Either we're under ice or I just annoyed a poor, innocent whale.....

I hope it was a whale... The thought of being deep under ice doesn't make me feel exactly comfortable...

But murdering innocent whales does.......

Who said anything about murdering??

Nothing! No-one! Now about that ice......

Yes?

I think we may be under it....

*starts panicking*

Would you like me to blast a hole in the ice?