h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*giggles* Hey there P!!! Sorry I have been so busy in RL I've missed alot here.
Now for this Union business...ermm...the Farmers Union would never have me as I kill every plant I come near!!! I even killed an 'AIR FERN'!!! AH-HA!
As for becoming a prostitute, well, er, I turned down a former love who offered me one thousand dollars for a half hour of my, er, time! So, I guess I'm too high priced to EVER make it in that Union...any other ideas?!?

Nothing springs immediately to mind.
I wasn't "recommending" those particular organisations, merely hinting that somewhere in this ever evolving universe there is likely to be something to fit your reqirements and shoe size.
Hope that by now you have come to terms with your excess of energy and enthusiasm and have channelled it to good use, e.g. studying the guide to programming your VCR, making sure that the grass on your lawn is growing in the right direction or ensuring that there will be sufficient weather to last until the weekend. This last is my main concern. I regard it as my personal responsibility and continually leave my office to check on it. My work mates are very appreciative of my efforts.

Watch out for that RL stuff. Sounds a bit dangerous to me.

Oh my...I ALWAYS wondered who was in charge of those things!
My word...you're really teaching me alot...do you think this lavender nail polish makes me look cheap?
Should I braid my hair or leave it hang?
Is my smile brighter since I've been using that whightening stuff?

And just HOW tan should I let myself become?!? What parts should I cover when swimming/sunbathing?
These are the things that muck up my mind daily...and the worst part is...I just HAT to should all over myself!

Er, that was to have been HATE...I like hats...
What RL thingies sound dangerous?!?

You have to polish lavender nails? Our lavender stands up all by itself.
Which is fortunate because I'm a great one for leaving things alone. I gave up shaving thirty odd years ago when I worked out that I could then stay in bed an extra 2 hours a month. I sometimes have my hair in a ponytail but only when my daughter gathers it together as a protest against its length. Braiding (plaiting) is a lot of hard work, and not without discomfort - at least at my daughter's hands.
You have white lipstick?
You should only be tanned when you've been really, really naughty.
Covering up bits? Depends who's watching. We have a saying about "Not frightening the horses".
Hats are OK. I have three: a khaki one for when I've had my hair cut, a blue one for when it needs cutting, and a multi-blue one with a pom-pom on top which I knitted (to suit either eventuality) to keep my head warm when I thought that my headaches were caused by a brain tumour. They did a brain scan and found nothing

RL dangers:
working 16 hour days and going to sleep in the swimming pool
working 16 hour days
working

I don't believe you about that "hate" thing.
I bet you had to look the word up in your Funk & Wagnall.

No, no!!! Tis true I say!!! I 'HATE to 'SHOULD' on myself...i.e. I should clean the cabin, I should do the groceries...you see?!?
I've learned there are ONLY 5 things in life a person MUST do -
they are the things that keeps one alive: EAT - DRINK-VOID-BREATHE-SLEEP. The rest of it all is simpley a matter of choice. You may say, "I have to pay taxes"!!! But nay...you can just let 'them' toss you into the nick! You WANT to pay taxes...you just never thought that you did! And I might add that CAN'TS
are for things we really can't do...i.e. Jump over the house...fly
to Jupiter...etc. So you see, there's VERY little that we HAVE to do.
Oh do please keep the pony tail!!! That always makes me go soft!