h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Basingstoke. Last stop on the road to hell?

Just past Farnborough on the M3 motor way the majestic towers of Basingstoke's thriving business community spring up into view and that familiar sense of bitterness creeps into your mind. It's not so much that you're first view of Basingstoke features a concrete monstrosity that gets you down, more the sudden realisation that you are returning to the world of the dull!. It's not that Basingstoke isn't well equipped, on the contrary it is very well equipped with bowling alleys, ice rinks, a poor football team, cinemas. motor museums, very bad night-clubs, even worse shops, sports centres, golf clubs, lawn bowling clubs, bad local radio old peoples homes, and a very large lunatic asylum!...hmmmmmm

The real problem with Basingstoke is that most of it's amenities are designed to pamper to the needs of complete imbeciles, the Ben Sherman wearing majority have created their utopia. A town of weak larger, "sorry mate no trainers" Aggressive 15 yr. olds " did you call my pint a poof?", bad fashion statements "70% off Madhouse sales" and intrusive sculpture "the 14 ft penis".
There is one area of Basingstoke that has culture and charm .....No really there is! The village of Basing lies about 1 mile to the East and is home to about 6000 and is home of the man who put the Toke in Basingstoke .The fact that his village completes the other half of the towns name is pure coincidence ....I think.

To sum up, Basingstoke is a poor excuse for a bad town in the V neck jumper wearing, Volvo driving, Tory voting , muppet haven that is Hampshire. But it could be worse ..... probably!

Hi Monkey Boy, Welcome to the Sol III edition of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Your home page and forum rant there have put me off from going anywhere near Basingstoke Look forward to your guide entry on it If you need anything just yell from this forum here or ask on the Asistant Community Editor homepage http://www.h2g2.com/A214796
BCNU - Crescent

the confetti was a nice touch, MB. thank you. @

you can keep my things, monkey boy.

i'm having a beer, dear. would you care for one? @

finally you've arrived. I'd love a beer. infact i'd like two if possible. keep your things?? darling I have no idea!

check out the other conversation "hello Ali babe" I'm getting crossed wires with all the conversations at once

oh baby, i've been waiting for this my whole life. here's 5 beers. i think we'll need them today. it really is today , isn't it? i love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. i'd do everything for you.@

Sorry about the noise. i've turned off the tv. you're right about my "things". everything important is gone. My Dad & mum come back on the 13th.

ok you win. please, come talk to me, monkey boy. i know you know.@

i've decided that love should be a concrete substance. now, we can bottle it for distribution around the universe. it's free, of course, so everyone can have it. i started bottling it over at the beer pool. there is a real abundance of love there. maybe you can take some bottles to Europe with you, and try it out?

My bag is full of bottles love. I'm gonna leave a crate by every departure lounge so we can spread it throughout the world. Oh the love is going to conquer all. the darkeness is being replaced by the light!!!!.. We will have to be carefull. love is hated by darkness keep safe. 1 hour

i am safe. my animals are with me. they see everything, even if i miss it. they are dedicated to the spread of love throughout universe. we can't fail, this time. i dreamt of trains again.

It's time to go my lovely. I'll be thinking of you!. love with all your heart!.

Hugs
MB

God be with you, dear MB. my love grows stronger by the second. be careful.@@

Just wanted to see you everywhere. welcome back, my King.

It's nice to be back Queen. Still things are hectic round here at the moment loads to do like spread the love vibe!!!! I want to know about you. tell me your darkest secrets!

Love MB

i believe love has directed me to this very spot. i am afraid to tell you everything. i don't want to diminish in your eyes. i have always tried to act with love in my heart. i was very good as a little girl, but my journies in life have caused me to sometimes act in hatred. for the last 11 years i have believed that love will be my redeemer. i believe, i have true faith and now, it seems, i have found what i've always been looking for. when were you in Vancouver? i lived there in 1980-81. please tell me about your wonderful self. how was your trip? did you run into any trouble? i prayed for you every day. let's take a few more of your little blue pills and catch up.

Hi babe, I was in vancouver during the summer of 97. only for a week but it was beautiful. Love is closer to hate than any other emotion. Acts of hatred are in the past and therefore forgiven. Acts of love are often harder to perform than acts of hate. MB passes Ali 2 blue pills and takes two himself. Big grin! Europe was beautiful, Amsterdam is a city of contrast especially the contrast between love and desperation. It seems that many people there are desperate to find something. (they are looking in all the wrong places) I didn't run into any trouble. Quite the opposite, I found the locals to be very helpfull but also a little strange. I also pray every day. I will pray that the things you are looking for will manifest themselves in a very real way. Ali, you can't deminish in my eyes, Everyone on this planet deserves love. I try to give love to all. You are a beautiful creation and are loved by more people than you could possibly imagine. Don't loose faith MB

thank you for your kind words. i have been busy dropping off crates of love. it's 10:30 a.m. here noww. what time is it there? tell me more about yourself... you're my favourite subject.*hug*