h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello, Mewtwo. I think I wish you were here. Here is me, skinny dipping at the Virtual Cove, on a whale ... actually, it's Gwennie in the picture.

[picture here, extremely askew, showing Gwenny near a whale. Half the view (the fun half, incidentally) is completely obscured by a giant geiser-like plume]

Well, now I have a line on where you are! If I could recognise it from a picture of a whale, its waterspout, and a nude lady.

Oh, well; there's always the search engine.

Dear Mewtwo,

Here is me, in the interior of Velma as you began your assault on her.

[The picture shows a scene, lit by Zippy, of the shaken-up interior of a whale with naked people inside.]

I am terribly sorry about Mew. I suppose I over-reacted. Well, there's always tomorrow.

I'm glad you aren't seriously in the same forum as me.

Dear Mewtwo,
Here is me, at a bar, drinking root beer.

[The picture is of the same: YK, at a bar, drinking a of root beer.]

I wish you were here. Yours, etc., YK.

Thought you said Wednesdays.

Dear Mewtwo:

I apologize for the lateness of the last letter; the circumstances were unavoidable. Here I am, singing Hamstead the Hamster.

[The picture is almost identical to the last one, except that YK looks out of his skull in an alcoholic beverage.]

Wish you were here. Yours, etc., YK.

What /were/ the circumstances? And what /were/ you drinking!?

Well, I'm back.

And a good job too.

Should I take that as a compliment, an insult, or a Magikarp?

Take it as an albatross.

That wasn't one of the choices. Wish you were here.

Good riddance.

And goodbye.