h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well ..I've checked the forums and all that. The editorial staff are still unaware of the priceless contributions to human wisdom that they haven't approved yet. I have a series of badly timed appointments today with doctors and opticians, close enough together to stop you thinking of doing something else in between, far enough apart to leave those nog ends of time that are the wrong size for most things. As a response to this I have finally written in the journal. grumble grumble.

Should we blame others' lack of value added wisdom for our precious moments of toothless fard-foolery?
The weak spots of the dark side of the luna landscape can warm my funnybone, and tweak my runny gnome!
The pacifists ride side-saddle with the companions of the devil, eh?

a veritable foolfard schoolyard awaits the side saddle rider who loosens the straps. No dentures here either, a fat slice of sahelian society has pushed the expiry date of our shrink wrapped paradise deeper into the past.

Can something that has not happened be forgiven?
Have a little faith in my current insolvency:
How much does an average fig weigh?

When it comes to the weight of a date there's more would than mettle.
you know what I mean.