h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, so Imo's is the only place left that will deliver to this area. The only problem is that our Imo's is owned by these Middle Eastern people who don't speak English.

Last time Amanda and I ordered from them, they brought her Hawaiian Punch instead of Pepsi and they forgot about the Ranch Dressing that I had paid for but never received.

Tonight, they remembered the drinks but not the entree. I didn't want to say anything because the guy wouldn't understand me and I didn't want to cause a commotion.

I can't really call and complain since there's no one there who understands English. I guess I should just start going out and getting food, but I'm scared to leave the apartment after dark by myself.

Maybe I'll just stick to eating at work.

You need to marry a foreign chef. He needn't be particularly experienced, so long as he's enthusiastic and will work for the merest pittance, oh and a green card. Perhaps an Australian!

Hmmm...

Hmmm...Mail Order Australian Brides...sounds like a plan.

Un plan diabolique!

Yes! Souflee!

And bisque. But I didn't want to point it out, you understand.

Hmmmm....Carrie could try living off twinkies, but that's not very healthy. Do you like pizza or are you vegan? Nobody else delivers in your neighborhood?

You could always create a large chart and buy a pointer so that when they deliver the wrong food you can point out where they messed up on the oversized menue on the chart and then stab them in the forhead till they get it right...

*goes off to sharpen a pencil to use in the meantime*

*conspiritorially*

I come up with these solutions all on my own, you understand...

It sounds as if you speak from expirence.

*looks shifty*

mmmmmaybe....

*takes magic marker and writes on Krissy's face*

Visualise whirred peas!