h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just found out the other day that my ex-husband is moving in behind us. Now, I can watch him screw other women from the comfort of my own home!!! We are really close friends but I don't know how I feel about this.

Re-read your post, and you may know how you feel about it.

What on earth possessed him to do THAT?

Some people are just RUDE.

You want I should rub him out boss?

Yeah...give 'em an offer he can't refuse

*opens closet*

*takes out cement shoes*

*takes out several different types of guns*

*takes out whips, chains and brass knuckles*

*dresses up in dark suit*

*puts on sunglasses*

*calls and hires a car, and several VERY burley men*

*calls out cheerfully on her way out the door* Be right back!

that all just sounded like his last date...

try harder

Trust me. When I want to rub a guy out... I RUB A GUY OUT!

Don't you worry. He's toast.

Mmmmm... toast.

Aaannnnd how.

*be's burly*

YAY! A burly beetle.

We pay well for those.

Sounds like something out of the Fannie Farmer cookbook, that.

Made with nougat?

Because nougat is funny.

Probably, but also something wretchedly inappropriate.

Like a cherry.

A cooked cherry.

With nougat.

Hey! *thinks for a minute*

Is that some kind of personal crack? Because you know that beetle calls me Cherry and Kirsche means Cherry in German.

You meant that to hurt...didnt' you?

*sniffles in the corner*

Ever had a cooked cherry, Krissy?

No, but if you are about to pull out a flamethrower I'm going to get VERY upset.

*stops himself from making the comment he was about to make*

*arching an eyebrow*

Good boy.

Let me, Krissy, advise you to avoid cooked cherries.

Especially with nougat. While I've never had nougat on cooked cherries, I find both things disagreeable enough to feel assured that it's extremely nasty.