h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh Bluebottle you are always welcome in any forum of mine!

Thanks! I knew you would like me

Bluey? Put your simeon on too, I wanna talk to you.

Hi Eccles - Simeon's not working here, sorry
How long have you been here?
VERY pleased to see you again!

I've been here a while, I've been chasing you around. Why won't simeon work? I desperately need to talk to you
I just sent a long e-mail there

Don't worry, babe, it's working now. So, let's meet in "Bluebottle & Eccles" and talk.

Venus, I just wanted to say "hello" and to add that I am impressed by your kindness to supernatural animals. Even if you do wear furs, the compassion you showed towards The Grim Squeaker in the Forum & Firkin just now was truly admirable, as was your decision to turn on your high heels and swan out of the place.
Honestly. The F&F used to be a good place to go for a , before they started letting yobs in. But the Sqeaker will have his revenge, mark my words. That tiny scythe is sharp.

A smiling young lady from Niger
Who went for a ride on a tiger
They finished the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger

3

Oh mi god, I think I've just met a worse flirt than me!! I just popped by because Venus in Furs is a wonderful book, and I'm missing my little (ahem) collection of classic Erotica. Do you read them too,or do you just like fur?
Helena,
(men burnt cities for me you know!)

Oh! Your last name is Troy, is it?

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Yes, I'm afraid... Although I also get called Helen, as Shakespeare and Marlowe both knew (lovely Boys) the names are interchangeable. And in many countries I'm known as Helena. So how are you darling??

Wasn't it you whose face launched a thousand ships? I always thought that sounded like a good trick.
Must have been hell on the old cheekbones, though. I'd have used the old swinging-bottle technique myself.

True - but doing what everyone else does lacks personality!

It certainly does. Of course everyone who has seen my face is sudenly reminded of those nicean days of yore, though I can think why. And someone did offer to enter me as they enter temples, which I thought was a nice offer. Just remember, all is dross that is not Helena. Even if I am currently working as a waitress,(at the Aroma Cafe) I do it with style.
Hxx

(Happy smile on face)
You certainly do.

"...Enter you as they enter temples..."
So they'd take their shoes off first and then start praying once inside?

That sounds about right, yes......

This may be getting a bit out of control here....

I'm always in Control *whipcrack*

OWWWW!!! (Runs away to Forum & Firkin)