A Conversation for Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Peer Review: A87891899 - Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus

Post 1

Dmitri Gheorgheni

Entry: Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus - A87891899
Author: Dmitri Gheorgheni - U1590784

I was afraid I'd run out of weird stories to tell y'all. Then I ran across this cactus story.

And I imagined FWR's picture...

smiley - dragon


A87891899 - Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus

Post 2

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Thanks for this. Instant karma indeed, no doubt about it. I am sorry but I laughed. Call it gallow's humour. Ian would have appreciated this story. I'll read it aloud to him tonight when I'm alone after his funeral. He'll bellow and pass it on. smiley - cheers

Thank you for teaching me about the Tohono O'odham Nation and the Saguaro cactussmiley - hugI didn't know Snopes.com had a horrors section. I've bookmarked that for perusal at my leisuresmiley - ok

Query: >>W Western states like Arizona<< is "W Western" a typo?

Question: Did David Michael Grundman make the Darwin Awards?

There's an ode to this incident over on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeR3IyT9XkM and I love the dedication: Cactus plugging is quite over-rated
Less fun than I'd first estimated
Karma sure is a bitch
As I'm lying here squished
With all of my hopes perforated.

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - skullsmiley - footprints


A87891899 - Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus

Post 3

Bluebottle

Is this the Cactus equivalent of a Mexican Wave?smiley - evilgrinsmiley - skull

<BB<


A87891899 - Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus

Post 4

You can call me TC

Interesting.

You certainly learn things around here!

Is there a way you could make it more suspenseful? From the beginning, it is obvious how the story is going to end. Although it's a factual report and not fiction, it would still make a gripping read if one was less prepared for what happens.

And is there really such a word as "shootist"?


A87891899 - Nature Strikes Back: A Gunman's Death by Cactus

Post 5

You can call me TC

The title is a giveaway, too!


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 6

Dmitri Gheorgheni

Thanks, GB. smiley - hug I hope Ian likes the story!

smiley - biro The 'W' was a typo, I fixed it.
smiley - biro Grundman was a Darwin Award recipient. I added that fact, and a link. Which reminds me: should we add a Category for 'Darwin Awards'?
smiley - biro'Shootist' is indeed a word, used here ironically, because 'shootist' implies expertise at firearm use. 'The Shootist' is the title of a Western novel and movie starring the quintessential John Wayne. I have not seen this movie because I have a John Wayne allergy.

And last-not-least, as the Germans used to say,
smiley - biro I'm boring, and was writing about my outrage at ecovandalism. I didn't know anybody wanted suspense. Much better idea! smiley - smiley I went back and changed the title, a header, and a few sentences here and there. Read it and tell me if it's more suspenseful now.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 7

You can call me TC

(Is "suspenseful" a real word?) smiley - tongueincheek


Thank you - you've done a decent job of taking my idea into consideration. I'm not sure if it has become more suspenseful, having already read it. Perhaps a cactus story virgin would be a better judge.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 8

Dmitri Gheorgheni

smiley - rofl I like it, a cactus story virgin...maybe we'll find one.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 9

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

I like the new title smiley - ok

And yes, we need a Darwin Award category.smiley - biro


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 10

minorvogonpoet

This is fun and carries a good message. smiley - biggrin

No saguaro here, but I bet there have been trees that fall on people trying to chop them down.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 11

Dmitri Gheorgheni

smiley - laugh I'll bet you're right.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 12

ITIWBS

Without getting started on jumping cholla stories*, a tale of a giant cholla**, which grows ~16 feet in height, with 5" spines bedded in cotton and 6" succulent leaves it loses only to drought or frost.

One day I noted a large black fly seated on one of the axils of a giant cholla growing in my garden late in the afternoon, just as the sun was setting.

Looking at the fly I was unwilling to thrust my hand among the spines to shoo it away.

Similarly, I was unwilling to use an insecticide since that might injure the plant.

Explaining this to the plant (I talk to plants), I remarked that doing something about the fly on its axil was on the cactus.

The following morning when I looked the plant over, I found it had grown out a 1" spine during the night directly under the fly, neatly impaling it.




*http://tucsonhappenings.blogspot.com/2010/01/jumping-choll-cactus-real-or-fiction.html

The most dangerous cactus in the American southwest, also called the 'teddy bear' cactus, or 'hanging chain' cactus, which is suggestive of their mode of attack.

There is a debate as to whether they really jump or not.

Trust me.

They do.




**http://www.instagram.com/p/BWI9G_sACBf/

One of the safer and saner garden suitable cacti.

Saguaros are not chollas, but a ferrocactus variety.


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 13

Dmitri Gheorgheni

The whole Southwest is just spooky. smiley - winkeye


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 14

Bluebottle

Do you know the legend of the statue of Theagenes of Thasos?smiley - hero

<BB<


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 15

Dmitri Gheorgheni

No. Tell. smiley - laugh

I used to live near Thassos, but nobody said anything about a statue. smiley - winkeye


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 16

Bluebottle

Okay, I'll admit I learnt this from watching 'Horrible Histories' with my son, so if you do a YouTube search for 'Stupid Deaths Theagenes of Thasos' you might well find it (I can't access YouTube here to provide a link).

Essentially Theagenes of Thasos was a remarkable athlete in Ancient Greece, who won everything he ever entered, much to the annoyance of his rivals. After he died a statue of him was built in Thasos and each night when no-one was around one of his wrestling rivals would attack it with a stick, just so he could beat him at last. And yes, the wrestler hit it so hard that the statue fell on top of him and killed him.
Apparently the statue was then found guilty of murder…

<BB<


A87891899 - Man v Cactus: The Saga of David M Grundman

Post 17

Dmitri Gheorgheni

Hm, this sounds not impossible...smiley - rofl

Okay, I found this:

Victor in boxing in the 75th Olympiad, 480 BCE
Victor in the pankration in the 76th Olympiad, 476 BCE

Pausanias, Description of Greece:

'Not far from the kings mentioned stands a Thasian, Theagenes the son of Timosthenes. The Thasians say that Timosthenes was not the father of Theagenes, but a priest of the Thasian Heracles, a phantom of whom in the likeness of Timosthenes had intercourse with the mother of Theagenes. In his ninth year, they say, as he was going home from school, he was attracted by a bronze image of some god or other in the marketplace; so he caught up the image, placed it on one of his shoulders and carried it home.'

Same source says he won 1400 prizes in his career. Then he was involved in a bit of a scandal, and was fined by the Olympic authorities. They took their sports scandals seriously. And he was barred from a later competition. Still, because of his great prowess, the local people gave him a posthumous statue. Which an unsuccessful rival used to sneak up and beat on at night. Which felled down and killed him.

That's when it starts to get interesting.

In a move that makes perfect sense if you're an ancient Greek, they tried the statue for murder. Convicted it. Banished it by throwing it in the sea.

This was literally a Draconian punishment - because it was invented by Draco. smiley - rofl It gets better.

Later, the crops failed. The priestess said, bring back all the exiles. They did, no luck. Ah, she said, you forgot Theagenes... Off to find a fisherman with a big net...

You can read the whole thing at http://www.theoi.com/Text/Pausanias6A.html

Finally, Thasos from space:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thasos#/media/File:Thasos.jpg

Thanks for remembering this story - somebody should do a guide entry! smiley - smiley






Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

You can call me TC

Jolly good. Another notch on Dmitri's bedpost. smiley - applause


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

SashaQ - happysad - Editor

Yes indeed smiley - applausesmiley - biggrin


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