h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: diamonds are a girl's best friend... - A821170
Author: urchin - U200172

i'm not sure what category this is in, it's probably an oddity at best - is there a section for the bizarre? (i seem to be heavily rooted in accidentally researching things that aren't quite normal). perhaps you can advise.

I might get myself coverted into a drill-bit.

i'm thinking of opening a cockney version called 'diamond geezers'. they can sell pearly kings and queens (at a premium, of course)

Maybe I can't afford the real thing, so I'm getting some diamonte made out my step-mother instead.

I definitely feel enriched for knowing about this. And the good doctor is right, a drill bit seems to be the best option.

B

I'd like to get on one of those TBMs if possible. Not something tiny like in a workshop.

Well, I have just spent 45 minutes surfing that site and the ones it links to.

I realised that I might not want my loved ones made into diamonds, but it would be really cool to have one made out of my ex....

Have you found the bit about the pig carcasses yet?

Ben

Ben, I am not a compound-noun-fundy but suggest that you'd need to be the "drill-bit", being the grinding part, rather than a "drill bit" in which case you might end up just being an over-priced precious trigger or a chuck or something. Do you see?

I've been called a lot of things in my time - hell, I have been a lot of things in my time - but that is one of the best!

an over-priced precious trigger called Ben

hi Urchin et al,

This is a fascinating concept! The dot-com boom, eh! Can't wait to see it used in upcoming detective stories as the motive. Or maybe the next bizarre serial killer.



In fact, the title you have used could be quite suitable...

So, from what an o-pptcB says, i probly ought to go and check out the site in question.

incidentally, i am refraining from indulging in some of the sicker humour possibilities here.

... there are some, though!

This is *scary*!

"There are only
a few listed at this time, but we can easily take care
of your beloved pet at one of our facilities from
ANYWHERE in the world."

note the 'take care of'!

And then there's the way they feel ready to do so at the drop of a hat, 'anywhere in the world'! I mean, call me paranoid but what is this shadowy organisation? Some international network of agents specialising in 'taking care of' domestic animals? Gotta be sinister.

The 1.25 Carat red option is a bargain at just $28,000, but i think i'd *have* to go for the irresistable cod-liver oil yellow stone, a give-away at $24,000 for a carat 'n' a quarter.

LifeGems !!!!??
This has to be a wind up
*please* tell me this is a wind up.

Waz (prospecting for the Underguide, but NOT for lifegems)

My in-laws have said that they'd like to be made into garden gnomes but this is a much better idea!

And they do pets too? Priceless.

My life is more complete now that I know about this.

I heard about this

I wonder what the customer reviews are now. I'll check

They're still 'coming soon'

And they mispelled forum

I wish I could go and look for myself, but I can't go to the site while I'm at work.

Maybe it should be called 'hyper-compacted relatives'!

That would drag the readers in.

Yes!!

What a fantastic name!

'Hyper compact your relatives today!'

Fatty