h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Evacuees, episode 4 - A39716706
Author: Plotinlaois - U7843825

Episode 4 of my autobiographical novel.

We're really beginning to be missing an interior life for Ivy by this point.

Especially at the bad news...we need more, I'm afraid.

Even if you have to make it up.

I agree with Dmitri that you need to build up the section where Ivy receives the news of Frank's death.

The advice on story telling is 'show, rather than tell', so let us see the scene: the arrival of the letter, Ivy reading it, her reaction, her mother's reaction: grief, anger, despair. Then the long, dark winter, which would seem even more gloomy now Ivy has no hope of her husband's return.

Thanks to both of you. Obviously I need to work on this quite a bit!
Meanwhile I'll post episode 5 which is a short section and one I'm least happy with. It is intended to link the first chapter which deals with the first 4 years of Sonny's life from his mother's point of view to the second chapter in which we start to see more through his eyes.
Once again, thanks for your continued interest. Please speak up when you've had enough!