A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A16643964 - The Waiting Room
neilwesson Started conversation Oct 25, 2006
Entry: The Waiting Room - A16643964
Author: neilwesson - U674056
Dear Readers,
As Promised here the first of my next set of Ghost Stories...
Enjoy.
A16643964 - The Waiting Room
Still_WRD Posted Oct 25, 2006
Very nice. The end did make me laugh a little. There was truth in the narrartor's character, which was lovely. The story itself was well composed, with a very consistant voice. I like the way that the reader feels disorianted along with the main character.
Just some nitpicks, then.
“Tell me Morris, if could have your time again, would you do anything different?” - Needs a "You"?
He could not tell how long, as the clock had no hands, how could he?” - unnecissary quotation mark
Anyway, lovely reading, very worthwhile.
A16643964 - The Waiting Room
neilwesson Posted Oct 26, 2006
thanks for your comments, keep an eye out for more coming soon. If you can't wait have a look at my space where you will find lots more.
Cheers,
Wes.
A16643964 - The Waiting Room
U168592 Posted Oct 27, 2006
Very enjoyable. 
Loved the character of the ticket master, some lovely dialogue there. Thank you.
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A16643964 - The Waiting Room
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