h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Acknowledgement section of a PhD thesis - A59669428
Author: ExaltFibs - U14219011

This is not a guide entry at all, but acknowledgement section of my PhD dissertation. I would be very much indebted if someone here could review it and perhaps suggest some improvisations. Thank you!

Hi. I'm an olkd ESL teacher, so I'll have a go.

I love your acknowledgements. They are sincere, warm, and friendly. I'm sure your friends and professors will treasure their mentions in your thesis. (Congratulations, by the way. 0

The only problem I see is one of register: Several times, you have used the wrong word for something you wanted to say. Here are some suggestions from me. I hope others will have more suggestions.

thanks for sharing this milestone with us.

'I didn't sway from my conscience.' - Do you mean 'I didn't sway from my purpose'?

'this assiduous hike' - the word 'assiduous' is incorrect here and doesn't go with hike. Maybe 'this long journey', 'this arduous trek'?

'a just, but arrogant individual' - 'just' is wrong here. What do you mean to say? 'Serious student'? 'Competent'?

'arduous emails' - you just can't say that emails are arduous. Try 'long-winded' or 'desperate' or 'complicated'.

'sincere succor' is awkward. 'Sincere encouragement'? 'Generous help'?

'my hard-boiled times' - No. 'Difficult times'.

'as well as its translation...' - 'as well as their translation'

'satiating and productive' - 'satisfying and productive'

'wouldn't have been half sweet' - 'would have been half so sweet.'

Thanks, Dmitri Gheorgheni!
Actually as you could've guessed, i was polishing, polishing this short sketch with many tabs of http://thesaurus.reference.com/ open in my chrome i got it all wrong. i gotta be more cautious while using those new words is not it.

"just, but arrogant", what i meant there by JUST is simple or honest or frank, but calling oneself with those words would seem so verbose and self-righteous, is not it? I settled with "honestly arrogant" in the end.

Thank you, really!

You are most heartily welcome.

Those thesauri can be really treacherous. They need to give better examples.

I think 'honestly arrogant' or 'honest but arrogant' would do very well.

No-one has ever asked me to comment on a PhD thesis before. (I looked at my brother's but couldn't even understand the title!)

I agree with Dmitri that it does sound warm and heartfelt.

Some additional suggestions:
" because it were a plenty", ought to be "because they were aplenty."

I'm not sure about "ineffable gratitude"; "overflowing gratitude" might be better.

"Inspired" instead of "incited".

"appreciative" instead of "courteous".

Google "is a tour de force" not "are a tour de force."

Congratulations on achieving so much and best wishes!

Thank you minorvogonpoet

Overflowing is way much nicer, and rhyme with "undercurrent", thanks (poetic )

By the way can "tour de force" be used in this kind of situations after all? (I guess it is an art term)

I have also applied contractions wherever possible in this section, to make it appear more casual

thanks.

I like the informal style; it contributes to the feeling that these thanks are sincere.

As for Google Scholar, I take it you meant that a great deal of work and thought went into providing it. If so, 'tour de force' is fine.

I am afraid that I assumed, when I read this, that you were extracting the Michael and, assuming that, I found it quite amusing. I thought you were posing as a "Borat" figure, transposing the language for fun.

Other readers are, I see now, taking it seriously. If they are right (and I am wrong - which I often am) I would suggest that you re-write the whole thing in a very much simpler format:

"I acknowledge, with thanks, the debts owed to:

Prof X... for his....
Prof Y... for her....

Keep it simple, much, much simpler. Then you won't get tangled up in colloquialism.

and, in all seriousness, I fear for the thesis itself. In terms of language, if not academic content. You need editing.


If it is not serious. Well done!! You caught us.

It's a lot easier to write a scientific thesis in English (assuming you are a brainy researcher) than to write a personal note of acknowledgement.

I have known many scientists - particularly biologists and chemists - who routinely write up their research in impeccable technical English, but who find other types of communication outside their comfort zone. It's a matter of specialised language.

I also remember being a graduate student in Germanic literatures who could discuss philology with the best of them, but didn't know how to buy a loaf of bread in the bakery until I went to live in the country. I spent a lot of time loitering in shops in order to copy normal conversations. (The thumb, the thumb means 'one', not the forefinger.)

The warmth of the acknowledgement page is probably a cultural thing. I suspect our author knows best what is expected in this setting.

I will never forget the day I was foolish enough to laugh at a letter directed to our department head in Germany (from Romania) addressing him as 'Your Magnificence'. Turns out this was the correct form of address. (I just imagined how an American would react.) After all, he *was* magnificent, in his own way.

Dmitri

If you are right, then I owe this researcher an apology. I was patronising and perhaps rude.

Not a day goes by when I don't receive a CV or job application from applicants with degrees, including UK Masters degrees, who, despite their apparent academic ability, do not care to use a spell check, or make an effort with presentation. Not being an academic I don't understand. Surely if research is to meet the real world, as you found in your shops, it has to be framed and presented properly. My advice - to keep it as simple as possible - is, I think, valid for someone out of their comfort zone. I was once a biology undergraduate, which involved (If I remember!!) essay writing and so forth which had to be readable, however closely argued, or it would have been thrown back, or marked down, if not.

Anyway, forgive my intrusion, and, if the researcher is genuine, and reading this, please accept my apologies if I have offended.

I have to say, though, I remain unconvinced that this is genuine.