h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Price - A52404347
Author: minorvogonpoet - U3099090

This is my tropical island story, inspired by the latest Stretcher challenge.

I was talking to somebody at the pool yesterday who came from Florida. He said the folks in Tampa were always convinced that no hurricane would hit them. He thought they were living in a fool's paradise.

Sort of like your character, here, I guess.

That's a very sad story. It is interesting that you highlight the pitiable aspect and not the disgusting one.

Thanks for your comments.

The island is based on a real island and the hurricane on a real hurricane.

Do you think Walt's fate is sad, B'Elana? I think he deserved what was coming to him. Maybe I haven't got the tone quite right. Maybe he lurches between disgusting, pitiable and absurd.

If you want us to hate Walt, you need more spadework, i think.

He's a jerk, but the main character is not well-defined.

Why is she studying medicine in the tropics? (In the US, we think this means the person is a poor student.)

What in the world makes her take up this 'offer' instead of trying to go over his head - or just kicking him, hard?

Since there's no causal connection between sexual harassment and hurricanes, I think the revenge fantasy would be much more effective if it were just that - a fantasy.

In other words, if it took place in the woman's mind, as a way to explore her feelings.

Otherwise, you expect the two characters to reach some kind of understanding - for example, if she showed herself stronger in the emergency, maybe in a medical capacity?

I'm not sure he deserved it. Yes, what he suggested was certainly despicable, but in the end, it was her decision. He didn't threaten or blackmail her, he bribed her. I'm not sure bribing somebody is an act that makes you deserve losing your home.

Thanks Dmitri, B'Elana.

It looks as if I'll have to rethink this story.