A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 1

benmayla

Entry: My Rememberance day - A42975840
Author: benmayla - U13666723

A42975840-`My Rememberance day`


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 2

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

I like this, both for the rhymes and for the sentiment.

I wonder if it would work better if you put it in conventional verse form?

Also: 'Remembrance' not 'Rememberance'.


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 3

benmayla

Thank you for your suggestions. You can clearly see I have no literery skill. I don`t know the rules of poetry. I just write down what comes in to my thoughts at the time, and cobble it down on paper. I know I could read and hopfully learn the rules. Perhaps I will if some think the effort would be worth it. REMEMBRANCE ! of course, thanks. Thanks for your kind advice. smiley - smiley


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 4

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

If you just arrange the lines one after another, and stop when you get to the rhyming word, I think you will have a good beginning.smiley - smiley

Arranging the lines into stanzas is optional, as far as I am concerned.

Welcome to the writing workshop. If you're looking for advice on poetry and the like, I think you'll find it here in abundance.smiley - winkeye


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 5

benmayla

OK I`ll give it a try with the next one. Thanks.


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 6

minorvogonpoet

You may say you don't have any literary skill but I like this smiley - smiley

It establishes a vivid image and conveys a message that seems deeply felt.

I agree with Dmitri that, if you break the lines after the rhymes, it will produce a more traditional poem shape.


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 7

benmayla

Thank you for both your kind comments and advice, they are very much appreciated.smiley - biggrin


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 8

Post Team

smiley - thepost


A42975840 - My Rememberance day

Post 9

Post Team

Hello benmayla, we're delighted to inform you that we've chosen your beautiful poem for inclusion in smiley - thepost .

You can find it here: A59895724

smiley - thepost
Bel


A42975840 - My Remembrance day

Post 10

benmayla

Hi, I'm not quite sure who I am writing to here. Thank you for selecting my poem for 'The Post' over two years ago. I never new. However I did cringe when I read that I had omitted a word and no one had spotted my mistake.

It should read " sixty years " not " sixty " is there any way it could be changed ?

Of course the other error was the title "Rememberance" Where as it should read - Remembrance.

Thanks to all.

B.A.A. Hayessmiley - smiley


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