h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When trying to finish a book (1)
At the last page I sneakily look (2)

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When trying to finish a book (1)
At the last page I sneakily look (2)
If the ending's too clean (3)

When trying to finish a book (1)
At the last page I sneakily look (2)
If the ending's too clean (3)
I regret that I've seen (4)

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When trying to finish a book (1)
At the last page I sneakily look (2)
If the ending's too clean (3)
I regret that I've seen (4)
'cos I'd rather it finish with muck (5)

The robins are singing outside (1)

The robins are singing outside (1)
I may have to say something quite snide (2)

The robins are singing outside (1)
I may have to say something quite snide (2)
Their chirpy bird song (3)

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The robins are singing outside (1)
I may have to say something quite snide (2)
Their chirpy bird song (3)
In the small hours is wrong (4)

The robins are singing outside (1)
I may have to say something quite snide (2)
Their chirpy bird song (3)
In the small hours is wrong (4)
Do you wish they'd disperse far and wide? (5)

My apple tree's blossoming well (1)

My apple tree's blossoming well (1)
It gives such a delightful smell (2)

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My apple tree's blossoming well (1)
It gives such a delightful smell (2)
I could sniff it all day (3)

My apple tree's blossoming well (1)
It gives such a delightful smell (2)
I could sniff it all day (3)
Throughout all of May (4)

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My apple tree's blossoming well (1)
It gives such a delightful smell (2)
I could sniff it all day (3)
Throughout all of May (4)
Looking forward to how its fruits gel. (5)

When faced with a difficult choice (1)

When faced with a difficult choice (1)
And concerns that you really must voice (2)

When faced with a difficult choice (1)
And concerns that you really must voice (2)
Should you curl up and howl? (3)

When faced with a difficult choice (1)
And concerns that you really must voice (2)
Should you curl up and howl? (3)
Cry into your towel? (4)

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When faced with a difficult choice (1)
And concerns that you really must voice (2)
Should you curl up and howl? (3)
Cry into your towel? (4)
Or wear down your foes and rejoice? (5)

I really don't want to know who (1)

I really don't want to know who (1)
Has fallen asleep in my stew (2)

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I really don't want to know who (1)
Has fallen asleep in my stew (2)
But the satin bed jacket (3)

I really don't want to know who (1)
Has fallen asleep in my stew (2)
But the satin bed jacket (3)
Must've cost a packet (4)

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I really don't want to know who (1)
Has fallen asleep in my stew (2)
But the satin bed jacket (3)
Must've cost a packet (4)
Which the dog has decided to chew (5)

My cat on the bird table sits (1) {don't even think about it!!}