h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who is it that measures how much people fart? And how? That's not a job I'd want.

Some deoderant companies employ people to smell sweaty peoples armpits to make sure that there product works. Yuck!

Oh good grief! I saw a TV programme once about some guy who was employed by a pet food company to taste the dog and cat food. I don't know why, surely it needs to taste good to dogs and cats, not people, but they must know what they're doing.

Probably not. Many people want their pets to eat things that they themselves would find delicious. They give their cats steaks instead of chopped pigs ear or so.

Pink frogs? They were probably a long way from home then. Many odd things have fallen from the sky, but has it ever actually rained men?

On of the earliest methods for birth control was devised by the ancient Chinese. Women inserted Quicksilver (mercury) to abort the fetus. Worked well, but I'll venture a guess that the women died at a young age.

Later the ancient Egyptians came up with a safer method - honey was mixed with crocodile dung. The acidity of the dung killed the sperm.

The ancient Romans had a very effective method. Women were instructed to jump, cough, and sneeze immediately after intercourse!

Ancient Greeks told women to scoop out the seeds of a pomegranate half and insert it as a cervical cap.

King Charles II requested his physician, the Earl of Condom, to devise something to protect him from syphilis. He came up with an oiled sheath made from sheep intestine. The problem? They reused them without washing them . Therefore, they still ended up getting that dreaded disease.

It is rumored that in many third world countries, a popular contraceptive is Coca-Cola. It seems that the drink is very acidic and when used as a douche, it annihilates everything in its path. Pow! Zap! Wham! Harvard University actually did a scientific study of this and confirmed that it works. Should you ever decide to use this method (I hope you are very desperate if you do), be aware that Diet Coke is better than Classic Coke.

Not 'everthing in its path'- it does have an effect, but nothing as dramatic as that. And it's not just the third world- this, and several other of these methods, are still used in supposedly enlightened societies. I read a letter in a girls' magazine help column where the girl had used this method, and she didn't think it had worked 'because I think I might be pregnant. I haven't had my period...' Sadly, the reply did not tell her she was a daft bint, which is what I would have done.
Some men, supposedly, take the Pill with their partners 'just to be on the safe side'.
There is an ancient Chinese love-manual entitled 'The Exhibition of Female Flagellants'.
For those of you who are non-musical- the jarring sound that results from strumming all open guitar strings is actually a legitimate chord.

Well, maybe she didn´t have any other options.

What´s wrong with taking the pill along with the woman. I´ve been told it gives you an erection for three days or something.

the only useless info i can think of right now is that the average woman ingests 11 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.

Yummmm....

thats pretty freaky info...

I don't want to ingest 11 pounds of lipstick
Thats gross

Yep. Pretty nasty. that's why I don't wear lipstick too often.

From now on I will try not to inhale when I put on lipstick. Then maybe I can avoid ingesting 11 pounds of lipstick in my lifetime

And don't lick your lips when you're wearing lipstick! That's probably where most of that 11 lbs. comes from! And probably when you eat something while wearing it.

I wonder if lipstick has any nutritional value. If it does, then maybe it is good that we consume 11 pounds of it during the course of a lifetime. You never know

What- a girl in this country had no option but to use Coca-Cola as a contraceptive? If she's that stupid, the option is to not have sex.
Men taking the Pill does nothing. Why would taking a load of FEMALE hormones improve a MAN's virility? Plus, having an erection for three days is NOT fun- it's a highly dangerous condition called priapism and results in the blood clotting, and if you don't have it drained (within a couple of hours) your nadgers will die.
This has all been fairly useful, so: 25% of us cannot smell cyanide.

Well, maybe she comes from a catholic family where the mother knows if she buys any forms of preservatives.

That thing with the pill was something I heard from a girl at school. She claimed a guy at an earlier school had tried it. I don´t know wether it´s true or not. But she is not the kind of person to lie about it.

This is all very well, but you really don't need to know that royal pekinese puppies were suckled by human wet nurses in Imperial China.

Or that readers in the Bodleian Library in Oxford are still required to take an oath not to kindle a fire in the library.

BTW isn´t lipstick mainly made out of fat? But my sister will probably surpass the 11 pounds. When she was little she ate one of my mother´s lipsticks.

Catholics? Maybe... but if her mother would have known what she was buying, she'd probably know that she had a boyfriend too... and what they were doing.
Whether your informant was lying or not: again, think about what the contraceptive pill contains (ethinylestradiol/ levonorgestrel, synthetic female hormones). It's testosterone that produces such startling effects, these just determine a woman's fertility/menstrual cycle etc. And medical science is not the type to lie either, especially not about priapism (it is physically impossible to have a continual erection for three days without it going gangrenous! Not pleasant!) Until someone produced documentary and visual evidence supporting this idea, I will not believe it. (I'm not going to do any experiments.) And anyone who suffers such an encumbrance for three days straight without seeing a doctor is... imaginary.
(It says on the box: an overdose of the Pill should have no side-effects. If it really did do this, wouldn't it be better publicised?)

Every winter, a select few men in Malaysia (and other countries) become convinced they are under attack from penis-stealing ghosts.

I think recently a witch doctor in Africa was stoned to death, for having made the penises of a group of men shrink. I suppose that´s a good excuse. "Yeah, but it used to be bigger, untill I met this damned witch doctor."

I don´t think it sounds right either, and she is not only the kind of girl that doesn´t lie. Also the kind of girl I think you could make believe anything. So somebody probably just told her a story, claiming it was real.