h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good morning once again to the semi-aquatic half woman half fish merpersonage.

Your return is a welcome sight to my personal space, never a message passes that does not provoke new thought or a change in perspective.

As for the ever increasing depth of rabbit warrens, take up your Davey lamp and caged canary because we are about to plunge a little further.

Today, let us explore a little of the psychology that produced the man the world remembers as Der Fuhrer. You know Freud and psychoanalysis so let us dispense with the introductions and leap straight into the meat of the matter.

As you are aware, the phrase 'show me the boy and I will show you the man' is a popular one with psychologists. Sadly, there is little real substance to go on regarding Hitler's early years. For much of this we have to return to Mein Kampf and the spartan hints that Hitler himself writes within its pages.

"There is a boy, let us say, of three. This is the age at which a child becomes conscious of his first impressions. In many intelligent people, traces of these early memories are found even in old age."

"Among the five children there is a boy, let us say, of three. When the parents fight almost daily, their brutality leaves nothing to the imagination; the results of such a visual education must slowly but inevitably become apparent to the little one. Those who are not familiar with such conditions hardly imagine the results, especially when the mutual differences express themselves in the form of brutal attacks on the part of the father towards the mother or to assaults due to drunkenness."

Now we shall try and insert a little background. Hitler was one of five children, idolised by his mother as the youngest child following two miscarriages. Hitler himself was a fragile boy who was often ill. Having a father who was a severe and prim civil servant, prone to drunken binges and being physically carried home from the pub by his friends, it becomes apparent where the above statements fit into Hitler's writings. The young Adolf was an unpopular boy with few if any personal friends, so all the images that he attests to regarding family life are very conceivably his own upbringing.

Mein Kampf continues;

"When he finally comes home, drunk and brutal, but always without a last cent or penny, then God have mercy on the scenes which follow. I witnessed all of this personally in hundreds of scenes and at the beginning with both disgust and indignation."

Given a father figure of this nature, young Adolf was subjected to a collection of wildly differing personas. From drunken beserker to mild mannered public official, the child that became the man is shown an ambivalent father figure and template for adulthood which seems to fit the Reich years.

It becomes evident that Hitler spends much of the early twentieth century searching for a suitable father figure. He is a model soldier, decorated for bravery and follows his orders from superiors blindly and without question. Later on his quest for power he finds idols in the form of Hindenberg, Ludendorf and von Kahr; all of whom he ultimately rejects and indeed denounces when they display any signs of human failing and fallibility. Unable to find his 'Superman', is it any wonder that he looks to himself to fill the role that cannot be located elsewhere.

Add in the extra ingredients of trench life in WWI, being mustard gassed back to Germany, the collapse of the economy, the imposition and eventual fall of the Weimar Republic, failure as a student in numerous fields and a spell of imprisonment following the Munich Putsch and we have the recipe for a singular and explosive individual.

Regarding Templars, there is a famous poster from 1937 that depicts Hitler in the holy armour of a Knight Templar, doing battle with Satan. As I shall drawl on at length about later, 'holy' crusades form an important role of the pre-war SS.

Loup is right about the date of Hitlers suicide. April 30th is known as Walpurgisnacht is a High Holy Day of European paganism and witchcraft. The date may well be a coincidence, however, as the Red Army were set to overrun the bunker at any time and the idea of becoming a Russian prisoner was perhaps not a welcome one.

The Blutfahrne was placec in the keeping of the SS in 1926 and was charged to the official standard bearer Jacob Grimminger. He retained this position until the end of the war, whereupon he disappeared along with the standard. Perhaps it is still out there.

Heinrich Himmler and the SS have very close ties with the occult and Knights Templar. A Vril Society member and leader of the Inner Circle, Himler and his 'knights' spent time practicing occult techniques in total seclusion. His GHQ was Castle Wewelsberg, a remodelled ruin that cost the German economy thirteen million Marks to restore to glory. Within the great hall, Himmler had installed a round table surrounded with thrones, around which sat his chosen Teutonic Order of the Black Knights; known as the Covenant of Thirteen.

The SS were indoctrinated into this way of thinking and were sworn to an oath of personal fealty to Hitler himself in a quasi-religious ceremony along the lines of the Lord's Prayer. Periodically, SS units were said to sacrifice one of their number by beheading; the disembodied head being used in a ritual to communicate with Eastern spirits. They were also reported to tear the eyes out of cats, although to what end I could not say. SS members gave up their family names and took up new nomenclatures from historical mythology. Serious infractions and misconduct were punishable by death, not only the soldier involved but also his family. Specila SS breeding farms were established that were supposed to generate a pure blood Aryan race, soldiers taking numerous partners in order to proliferate their genes throughout the cream of German womanhood....

From hereon in we enter the truly surreal.

The RSHA instituted a perculiar unit known as Sonderkommando (Special Unit) H. The H suffix being 'hexen' or witch.

This elite body were charged withdiscovering evidence of Germanic magic surviving from the sixteeth century witch hunts. During its existence Sonderkommando H looted some one hundred and forty thousand supposedly magical books, foremost amongst them being a copy of the Necronomicon, written in ancient Gothic. The Spear of Destiny was said to have been located in Versailles after some unsuccessful aquatic archaeology in the Baltic. Digs in the Middle East and North Africa in 1936 were said to represent a serious search for the Ark of the Covenant: the basis for the film Raiders of the Lost Ark. A more far reaching search for the Holy Grail in 1938 failed to bear fruit, but did make for a rather cracking sequal as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Now the following is based on a few fragments that I managed to dig up from old RSHA archives that hint at some frighteningly groundbreaking research.

There existed an Institute for Science and Mysticism, also known as Walhalla. This branch became the headquarters for the Occult Corps and was conducting research into some of the most bizarre technology that I have yet to come across in WWII. In 1936, in the Schwarzwald Forest, Walhalla scientists are said to have investigated the site of an UFO crash, complete with bodies of alien beings. However true or fabricated this research is, the fact remains that the Occult Corps were very real, and their UFO and bodies spawned two further government departments.

'X' Labs were set up in Castle Erlangen, Castle Heidenheim, Castle Hollenshammer, Castle Naudhaum, Castle Wolfenstein and the National Redoubt. These various sites performed work on one Project Haunobu, which surviving reports tell us was a large flying saucer with a diameter of approximately seventy five feet. Indeed, in 1945, US 8th Airforce pilots began to call in sightings of mysterious glowing lights with incredible handling capabilities that became known as the Foo Fighters. After the war, US forces looted the remains of these sites and took many German scientists away to their own research facilities. I think Loup ought to take over on that particular thread as I have some vague knowledge that Project Paperclip was the result of this; after which point I become a little foggy on detail and start thrashing on about Roswell incidents.

A second institute was directed by SS doctor Wilhelm Strasse, a leading geneticist and all round barmy scientist.

This is the man who is reputed to have performed the alien autopsies, the results of which he applied to the development of genetically modified X Creatures. These include Brutes, Lopers, Warhounds, Psychic Warriors, Super Soldiers, Wolfrats, and Wehrwolves.

Perhaps his greatest triumph, and one that survives in writing is Operation Eisenfaust, the development of an XXX chromosome 'Superwoman.' Hitler approved this research and established an all female security force of elite warrior guards. Straight from a Wagnerian epic come the warrior maidens, recorded in history as SS Hellferinnenkorps. Led by Helga von Bulow, this SS formation was utilised as a troubleshooting force for the Paranormal Division.

Returning to something a little less incredible, the Thule Society funded and armed the Ehrhard Brigade as part of their 1919 anti-Communist Freikorps. The unit became an official naval force and was renamed the Ehrhard Naval Brigade, which was eventually incorporated into the SS.

So, in some small way, the Thule Society became a fighting arm of the Waffen SS and continued their work behind the scenes of the Second World War.

And so ends todays historical tirade.

All it remains for me to do now is to ride off into the sunset on my tartan bicycle and lop the heads off a few treacherous courtiers. No plans for a remake of Romeo and Juliet had previously entered my mind, although you have certainly set my mind wondering whether I ought to now. There shall be a Prince of Denmark around shortly and I have definitely decided to ruin the reputation of Julius Caesar. However, before all that there is the small matter of Captain Nemo and an unrealistic rubber giant squid to attend to.

Crying havoc with gun, umbrella and a large can of squid repellant,

Well,well,well,!!! Deeper than the 20,000 leagues where you now are! This is truly surreal, but I discount little of it because what ordinary man could seduce a whole nation into such darkness! It had to be Dark Forces, King Ruprecht and I had speculated before if the Nazis had accessed anything out of the Teutonic nights* archives. They have left no stone unturne, literally, in thearcaheological sense and then dug into the medieaval archives of occultism. It is amazingthe grand scale of the whole scenario.`
one part which has been publicised is the goings on a Wewelsberg castle with Himmler at the helm but that has never been "tied in" with any concrete theory and I think often dismissed as lunacy, eccenticism etc by historians.`
The UFO part I have never heard of before so it seems the Nazis had a Roswell scenario of their own in a pre Roswell era. (Loups Men in Black coming into the picture again)`
The modern day profilers would certainly see Hitler as loner g to peer group etc and the explanation often given for his rabid anti Semitism is that he was furious at being turned down for the Art academy in Vienna and turned all the rage/rejection feelings trasferring it onto wealthy Jewish citizens of Vienna.`
I feel of all the historical accounts I have ever read about various eras, this is the most terrifying because it is not just concerning a few ambitios politicians and a lust for power. It is just SO black and terrifying. The devil was made flesh and dwelt among us??? I wonder? And it has been told that the Wehrmacht feared the SS and preferred not to be involved with their affairs as did the "old style" Generals, hence the von Stauffenberg assassination plot, but they did not realise what they were up against, evidently. Secret societies many questions since as to why the Vatican undeniably assissted high profile Nazis in fleeing to South America etc and why Hitler and his associates were never ex communicated. Secret societies/wheels within wheels. Going back into history and at some junctures having its roots in Hell . (not the Vatican, the societies occultists incorporated. `
Hitler*s story in some ways is a "black" Nativity I feel but instead of a Christ child, was there some ancient belief that the Evil one would come Not angels surrounding this one, but demons and did those who took their lives as the Russian forces advanced have Tibetan reincarnation prayers read over their bodies? Id stake on it they DID.I have heard of the breeding a pure Aryan race and they did background checks on existing marriages to ensure the progeny did not have a tainted bloodline. Your research is truly enlightening King Ruprecht. `
Today a little piece of what I had specualated seems to be coming around?? in Russia. The Premier, Vladimir Putin being presented with a crown worth £7 million pounds. Ihave speculated that one day, the Romanoff dynasty would attempt a "comeback" so I shal note it in my journal though its a purely personal belief (and why I believe, the surviving Romanoffs were so vehemently against the igirl Anna COULD be Anastasia and were very cruel to her.`
What light from yonder window breaks`
It is the police....and Romeo is a bank robber stealing hearts and stealing cash to get enough to elope with his Juliet `

Good day to you dear Samarkand from the fly by wire world of amateur conspiracy theorising.

I shall begin this day's work with a resounding as I have been following up the Nazi UFO story to discover that it is a mere work of fiction.

My evidence?

Well, the same articles that speak of a recovered saucer in 1936, the development of X Labs and various mutant soldiery then go on to state that the Russian campaign Operation Barbarossa was a test platform for 'Flesh Eating Zombies' released against Smolensk by the EinsatzGruppe. A great deal of searching has failed to locate any of the aforementioned castles utilised as R&D bases for Walhalla, and indeed Walhalla itself only appears to exist within the confines of a fictional work that speculates on the repercussions of a failed Operation Overlord. Once I read that Winston Churchill had died in London whilst manning a machine gun nest I realised that the whole thing was so much bunk.

In view of this fresh evidence I was about to discredit the majority of Posting 22 until I came across an interesting article regarding Sonderkommando H. I shall refrain from divulging its content as yet until I have established its credibility, but suffice to say that it fits the timeline of WWII and the post war ODESSA program, plus I am able to validate the existence of the protagonists from footage of the Nuremberg war crimes trials. More shall follow as I fill in the missing words.

Addressing some of your points from the previous posting, you are indeed correct to say that there was much friction between the Waffen SS and Wehrmacht; the former being seen as extremists with a death or glory policy to campaigning that did not sit well with the average German soldier. SS units were better equipped and better trained, yet were held largely in reserve during the Polish Blitzkreig as they were under the command of Wehrmacht general staff who little trusted their abilities. Or did not like their camouflaged fatigues. Either statement works.

SS Reichsfuhrer Himmler had some rather unusual ideas. Remembering that this was the head of the SS, the Kripo and later the Gestapo; making him one of the foremost pugilists of 1940's Germany, his power within the party was second only to Hitler by the time the end came in '45. He created his own religion based upon the Indian Mahabharata welded to elements of Nordic pagan beliefs and hoped to create a neo-pagan doctrine that would oust Christianity after the successful conclusion of the war. He was of the firm belief that he was closely tied to, even the reincarnation of the ninth century Saxon king Heinrich I - AKA Henry the Fowler. With his inner circle of knights Himmler instituted an annual commemorative ceremony to this obscure monarch. He saw Hitler as the embodiment of God on Earth, a Vishnu style figure who would live forever.

The July Bomb Plot of 1944 was the brainchild of the Kreisau Circle, consisting of Prussian aristocrats, politicians, trade unionists, senior civil servants, the Church and the like and was put into effect by Eastern Front serving officers on the staff of Field Marshall Gunter Kluge in alliance with the Abwehr. How close they came to changing the course of history. It only goes to show that even a humble table leg can have an enormous casting vote on the future of the world. Unfortunately, the main effects of Stauffenberg's time bomb were to strengthen Hitler's convictions that he was marked by destiny for greater things and the swift arrest and execution of some of the greatest opposition to the Reich.

The research continues and I shall send further word as it comes to me. As previously mentioned I shall be following the fortunes of Sonderkommando H as there appears to be a large degree of occult significance to this unit.

As for your return of the Romanoff research coming to pass, I shall follow the developments with interest. I shall also strive to learn a little more of the background to this story as I am phenomenally blonde in this area.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings; the sun for sorrow will not show his head. Go hence to have more talk of these sad things; some shall be pardon'd and some punished; for never was a story of more woe than this of Anastasia and her Romanoff.

With previously attested to personal effects,