h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Good Lord.

Now there is an unexpected trip down nostalgia avenue.

In my youth I was a Dungeon Master on just such a foray into the imagination. Of course, in those days I was without the benefit of a computer and it was all done with coffee stained pieces of paper and truly dreadfully painted lead miniatures. This was in no small part due to a limited budget leading to a likewise limited palatte of Humbrol orange that made the average swashbuckling barbarian hero appear as like a geographically mislocated eskimo.

My armoury will be a simple one.

I shall require one slip-hinge frame 'Storm Shelter' travel umbrella with optional spiky upgrades.

One gun. Given the medieval nature of your quest I will be prepared to settle for a 1580's German wheel-lock pistole.

One pair of sensible combat trousers.... khaki.

One pith helmet.... colonial pattern.

And finally, some manner of map. Preferably one with all the 'Here Be Dragons' notices erased with Tippex. There is nothing quite like an irate fire breathing reptile to really put the kibosh on your day.

Does all of that come in at under one hundred gold pieces?

This ought to prove an entertaining aside from my usual humdrum existence of travelling the globe on a daily basis and getting it wrong.

hi there you can if you want to but i have not made the shop yet
so do you want to join

Tally ho Sir!

Let slip the dogs of war with haste and my umbrella shall serve you well.

????????????????????

That's a "yes" kevo

I shall, of course, require the invaluable assistance of Herr Kow if I am to tread this dangerous path.

As my official translator, Kow plucks meaning from my errant scribblings and strives to transform them into recognisable sentences.

Which, on balance, is a most arduous task; especially given the fact that I usually have not the first clue as to what I am bleating about myself.

Herr Oberst, I beseech you! What did I just say? The dog has just eaten my dictionary.

Hmmm, this translates as:

As long as I can hide behind kow

Indeed, I shall require some manner of defensive shield from the dungeon denizens in the same way that Captain Kirk requires red uniformed security officers when landing upon an alien planet.

Would you, Sir, be willing to make this ultimate sacrifice in the name of keeping my personage charcoal free?

Or shall I secure you a place at my side cowering behind the sofa upon sighting our first kobold?

Hi there the shop is now ready so i thought you better no A816446