h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So I've been seeing Kim for about 2 months now, deciding to stop playing silly games and "sorta seeing" each other and just accept that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. It's all good, I'm happy. She's amazing.

But then there's her ex. Not even her most recent ex, an ex of a couple of years back. He's friends with some of my friends who's opinions I trust. He, however, is a vile poisonous woman beating piece of s******t, but all his friends trust him and have told me "Be careful of that Kim, she's a violent psycho."

Now, before any of this happened she told me about an ex, she said she might have started it but he used hit her, force her to tell the police she'd ran into a cupboard etc. And she's tiny anyway, but she's trying to say it was her fault anyway etc blah blah blah.

Then we're out at a club, he's there, some of my good friends (including my ex, who I'm good friends with)are there. They're warning me about Kim, I tell them he used to hit her and she admits it wasn't one sided.

"Oh no, Andy wouldn't hurt a fly." Yeah Frankie, thats what people said when I told them about your ex who hit you. I'm sure Ian Huntley's mates thought he was great with kids.

So home that night me and Kim have a heart to heart, it transpires it was a lot worse than she was letting on. She tried to get me to promise not to say anything as she hopes that in the end people will realise that she's cool. It also comes out he raped her anally after an argument once.

Now I'm sure his friends would say she's a lieing psycho, but everything she's told me ties up, even stuff she said before all this came out. If she's lieing she must also be able to predict the future and have an amazing memory to keep track (I can often recite conversations word for word my memory is that good, people can't lie to me for long without tripping up.)

Kim tried to make me promise not to mention of do anything but I told her I don't make promises, especially ones I don't know I could keep, and I feel my friends should know what this s***t has done, and the fact he should either be castrated or in prison. But you can tell they're all under his thrall.

I don't know, I don't know how I'll react if I see him, what to say to my friends, I don't know anything. What I'd like to do is stick a snooker cue up his colon and beat seven shades of shit out of his face but that would probably lose me a lot of friends. But it'd be the right thing.

I don't know. I really don't.

I know how you feel, I wanted to cut the face off you can guess who's father with razor blades and ram it down his throat before popping his eyeballs with hot needles.

But, if she doesn't want you say anything you'll have to respect that. People will believe what they want to.

See, if it was someone from her past that was still around, I could respect her wishes and we could get on with life.

But he's still affecting her, and affecting me. I don't think I could not do anything if I came across him again, and from the circles we move in it's a case of when rather than if. I have big blocks in my head over honesty and letting people get away with things. I'm really not a violent person but this c*******t is making my blood boil.

Nor am I a violent person, but if I had ever met the creature I referred to earlier he wouldn't have lived long.
I have the same 'blocks,' but Kim will be ready to take a different course than silence when she is ready to. Re-arranging his head isn't gonna end the affect, it'll change into one where he's got charge with assault.
Don't try to tell everyone what this guy really is, if you must tell some then be very careful and thoughtful in who you chose.

I know you're right mate. I'm proud of myself that I had a whole MSN convo with Frankie and didn't mention it at all. But it might be a different matter if I come face to face with him, however much I know it'd be the wrong thing to do when I'm sober and calm.

We'll have to see. I gotta stop thinking about this and carry on with enjoying my time with an amazing girl who seems to worship the ground I walk on...

hey, not sure i can comment on the specifics here bob, but speaking as someone who's be on the receiving end of a good slap from someone that's supposed to love you, the last thing your new lass needs (or probably wants) is another bloke that's handy with his fists and quick to anger.

my advice, leave it alone, it's over and done with, let her move on.

Still wishing you all the best, sir, not easy...