h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

would be interested to talk to you. am a novice and have want to know the best way to get started.

Hello Merlintc

Would be happy to talk to you, being new to the scene myself, not sure how much help I'd be, but happy to talk anyway

I think you've already managed the first hurdle, admitting it to yourself

Would be helpful to know if your male or female, sub or Dom,

We'll have to be careful what we say, this is primary a family site. I've so far managed not to get any posts hidden, but there are quite strict rules here, be no good to either of us if we post something that the other is unable to read due to it being hidden for breaking the rules.

Talk soon

Foxy

thanks for your nice reply. and gentle warning. you seem too be an articulate person.

Male and partner is sub.

that is what is driving my new -found interest.

Hmm that could be interesting, a novice sub and novice Dom, we may be able to gain insight of our respective partners and about ourselves too

Is your partner a novice too? Can be funny sometimes with my partner, it can be sort of like the blind leading the blind

I'll just mention a few things I've come across that I found relevant to me, see if they're any help to you.

There are as many ways of doing BDSM as there are people that do it, whatever feels right for you and your partner is the right way for you.

Often the difficult thing is knowing what your partner wants, there are various reasons why a sub will have difficulty expressing what they want, the four main ones being:

1. They don't really know what they want.

2. They know how they want to feel, but they aren't sure what it is that will make them feel that way.

3. They do have at least some idea of what they want, but they're too embarrassed to be able to tell you directly.

4. Some know what they want, but feel as if it spoils things if they have to ask for it. They want the impetus for the scene to come from the Dom, and if they ask for something, then it's as if they're controlling the scene, when what they want is for their Dom to control it.

(For me, as I'd imagine it is for many subs, it's partly all of those).

I assume you and your partner have discussed limits and 'safewords' these are vitally important, especially for beginners, over time your'll learn what your partners limits are, and the 'safeword' will be used less.

Have you read 'Dominance and submission - a Power Exchange Relationship' A583490

A good BDSM book is 'Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns' by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. It's a difficult book to get hold of, I purchased it via 'ebay'.

I hope that's been of some help, if there's any particular aspect of BDSM you'd like some opinions/information on, just let me know.

Have fun

Foxy

thanks for the reply!!

and the book recommendation. will be looking for that one this weekend.

I appreciate our conversation. Is there another place we can talk where the entire galaxy does not have to listen?

if not, then this is fine with me. Again I appreciate your replies and look forward to hearing from you again!!

m

miss our short conversation, and your beginners classes for me. if you get bored and can think of anything else you can share, let me know, I am still looking for the book you mentioned. Can't find it locally over here. may try the internet if all else fails!

m

merlinltc I am so sorry. I have been checking this conversation almost everyday for the last 4 weeks, waiting for your reply, and somehow missed seeing it, it was only when you replied again that I noticed it.

Foxy

"I appreciate our conversation. Is there another place we can talk where the entire galaxy does not have to listen?"

erm, not really without one of both of us giving our email address, and that may cause more problems.

I doubt this'll get any response, but; any lurkers like to de-lurk and add any opinions or questions? be nice to know who else is reading this

Like I said, ebay is a good place to buy the Screw the Roses book. Lots of other good things on there too. I've purchased a leather paddle, 18 inches long, with studded handle, thick leather one too, packs quite a sting lol, brand new for around £10 and leather handcuffs, again for around £10. If you've been into 'sex shops' you'll know how expensive these kind of things are.

You haven't said much about how you and your partner are doing, how's it going?

If you've got any charity shops near you, they can be a good place to shop for 'toys' everyday things can be used in 'play' leather belts, I've made a flogger out of a leather belt that had long leather tassles. Wooden spoons and hair brushes, bigger is better. The rope I use is kids skipping ropes with the handles removed, it's a soft rope. I also got a riding crop for £1. Can't remember what else at the moment.

Foxy

'I doubt this'll get any response'

Wrong.

'any lurkers like to de-lurk'

*Waves*

Actually, I only just found this thread. (It's amazing where Ask h2g2 can lead one.) On request I shall, of course, be happy to unsubscribe and ignore.

Interesting book, that -- but the _binding_. Or is it just my copy that began to fall apart almost at once?

*Waves* Hello RFJS

I read the book every night for over a week, binding was fine, looks like it was just your bad luck to have a 'dud' one.

Foxy

Still a good read, though. I'm glad it puts such an emphasis on the emotional aspects; SM 101's rather dry in comparison. I imagine it makes up for it on the technical side, and I'd like to be able to say I'd had the opportunity to find out. Maybe I ought to try to see whether there's anyone involved with BDSM in the North-East I could get in touch with, since I'll have some time between my exams and the end of term. Then again, perhaps I ought to get things clearer inside my head first.

merlinItc -- please don't hesitate to tell me if you'd rather I weren't on this thread.

RFJS_ ; I certainly don't mind at all.